Shut up, I'm Ranting

Hi! My name is- SHUT UP!! (Collab Rant)

"I groan as my alarm clock wakes me up. I smash the snooze button.

Hi, I'm Peggy! I am a very caring and bubbly girl, and-"

It pained me to write that.

Just.... Ugh.

This would probably fall under the cliché category.

Starting with "Hi, my name is...."

It's stupid.

Cliché.

Like, seriously....

IT'S SO STUPID!!! LIKE, DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND GREET NOTHING LIKE YOU'RE CRAZY EVERYDAY?! NOT ME!!!!

Wow, that felt good.

Sorry 'bout that.

And I'm sorry if I'm offending you.

Just don't start a story like that.

No.

Just no.

Maybe you can start the story in the middle of a scene.

Describe the person.... like your solving a puzzle. It has to blend into your story.

For example....

"I look down at the ground, my red hair covering my pale face. My blue eyes fixed to the wet pavement, I start to sob."

That was just a random thing I made up.

Wasn't that better than "Hi, my name is...."?!

Uh, yeah!!!

Now, I'm doing something different.

I'm kind of.... collaborating.... on this rant with Ressie_the_Neko .

I'm going to switch this rant over to her now.

So I'll see y'all on my next rage.

Bye!

~~~~~

"Hello, hello, I just wanted to say that A WILD RESSIE HAS APPEARED!"

So this thing with the alarm-clock-description-thingy is probably the most cliché way to start a story, ever.

It's okay to have an alarm clock wake up the OC, but they CAN. NOT. TELL. THE. READER. A. DESCRIPTION. OF. THEM. SELVES!

Wouldn't something like this be better for the alarm thing and better for a description?!

"I shot up with eyes widened as the alarm clock by my bed shrieked its annoying call around the *apartment/room/house/cave/whatever*. I glared down on it and smashed the clock off in anger that I had been woken up so early."

And for the description....

"I felt the wind slap me across the face with it's cold hands as I stood by the ocean's edge. My *hair color* hair flew out behind me as the wind passed by myself. I closed my *eye color* eyes (call them orbs and I will beat your ass, it does NOT sound good) to listen to the waves on the sand.

I froze slightly and opened my eyes in alarm, skin paling, not that it wasn't pale enough (lazy Ressie didn't have a better sentence to describe skin tone), as a rock was thrown over my head, barley missing it by a hair into the ocean's waves."

SEE DOESN'T THAT SOUND SO MUCH BETTER?!

And the orbs thing (getting off topic, whoops), orbs remind me of gems. Why would your OC or person in your story have gems in their damn head?! Or orbs could be orbees, but whatever, same reason.

Back to the topic, I don't think everyone wakes up and starts talking to the invisible people who aren't part of your life or the story. Okay, an OC talking to the readers is breaking a wall of rules that should never be broken (fourth wall!!).

Okay? Okay.