Magcon: Can you feel my heart? // cash

Chapter 8

•my feelings mean nothing to me•
|unedited|

Lyrics:

Emerging from the gentle grip of night's unfolding arms.

Darkness, darkness everywhere, do you feel alone?

The subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone.

You don't see what you possess, a beauty calm and clear.

Nashs pov:

I don't know why I'm leaning in but it just felt like the normal thing to do.

I could feel camerons deep breaths on my nose as I went to close the gap.

"I-I'm not gay." He whispered.

"Neither am I." I said before actually kissing him.

I've only ever kissed one person before and that was her, but this was something different. I felt absolutly nothing. Nothing what-so-ever. No spark no lust making me want to push harder. The kiss I had with her was like a bunch of shit i can't explain.

Cameron quickly pulled me away before I could finish thinking about my feelings from this.

"Nash! I fucking told you I'm not gay and then you come and kiss me? What the fuck is wrong with you?!" cameron screamed and flailed his arms.

"I just wanted to know what it would be like." I simply responded.

Cameron looked at me as if I just killed someone and I told him I did it for fun. He continued to shake his head refusing the fact I kissed him.

"Calm down its not like I felt anything." I said faintly

"Just leave, please" Cameron asked. He sounded like he was going to cry, but I wasn't sure.

"Let me guess, I should never talk to you, you're kicking me out of your life, you're going to tell everyone I'm gay even though I'm not?"

He looked at me in disbelief.

"Has someone ever done those things to you?" He asks.

I just shrug and start packing my stuff, aka, my charger. I turned to the door and gave cameron a baby wave as I left his room. I wasn't sad or anything. I mean sure I just lost a potential friend, but i've already lost the thing that meant the most to me. What else do I have to lose?

The walk to my house had that kind of quiet air I hated. I opened the door to hear the yelling of my parents.

"Jesus Christ Chad! Just try being reasonable with me!" my mother screamed to my dad.

I walked down the main hallway further until I was at the edge of the kitchen door.

"I am! You're the crazy one thinking we should send Nash to a fucking therapy house! I'm not putting my son in one of those houses for the depressed Elizabeth!"

This conversation always gets on my nerves because they think they know what's best for me. My mother thinks Id be better off in a therapy house. My father thinks that they should let me solve my issues myself. I like my dads idea better.

"Chad just think about it! He could come back a new and happier person!" My mother tried and tried convincing my father but she never got through to him.

"Just let him be." Chad rubbed his temple and started walking towards the door.

He bumped into me on his way out but I don't think he noticed.

"I like dads idea better." I said to my mother before I went up to my room.

Her eyes widened when she saw me and tried calling out for me, but gave up when she got the the A in my name.

Once in my room I laid on the bed and took a deep breath in.

"Let me find happiness somewhere. Please." I asked God as I shut my eyes tight, hoping I was just in an awful dream.

"Nash, I love you." A faint voice spoke.

My eyes shot open because that voice was extremely familiar.

"Why did you have to die?" I sighed, shutting my eyes again.

God damn you Hayes.

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Well.... Okay.

I either updated today or not for another 2 days... I prefer to write on a computer but I only get to use one every other day.

really shitty, and no it won't be like them other stories mofos.

HAPPY REALLY SHITTY UPDATE AND THANKS FOR 2K VIEWS (IDK IF THATS THE NUMBER BUT THANKS)

I'll try updating sooner but school is an ass

•Byes• 🌝