butt jokes - dirkjohn

chapter three: glitzy gay depression music on vhs

dirk drove comfortably, the way to john's apartment was basically a direct shot on a main road filled with shops and fast food restaurants. dirk offered to get food but john, who was slouched over his phone, ever so politely declined with a grunt. john did go back and forth from twitter to dirk though, he had no honest idea why, but he was staring at dirk. and dirk noticed. he never made it obvious, but he both didn't give a shit and kinda loved it. he didn't want john to be a rebound. he didn't want to date his brother's bestfriend- but he was cute. and funny. dirk shook his head, trying to stop the thoughts from coming in. he didn't like john, he just missed jake. he wasn't doing this. if he were to date john he would wait and it would be comfortable. nothing would really change from where it was not, just get better. they would hang out and tell jokes and watching movies but instead of just sitting, they could cuddle.

dirk had one arm propped on his open window and the other draped over the steering wheel, his fingers tapping against it to the music. he brushed his loose hand through his messy hair. his eyes were tired from barely sleeping and every time they drove past a portion of the road that wasn't coated in buildings, the sunlight peaking through would light up his eyes a bright orange.

after 7 minutes of glitzy gay depression music, they arrived to johns small apartment building. dirk turned the car off and unplugged his phone. the boys slowly made their way up to john's apartment in silence, dirk locking his car and john unlocking the door. he was welcomed into the same apartment he had been to a million times before to see terezi, but it felt different. it felt new, being that he was there to see john and not tz.

but can we please get into how fucking gross the apartment is. there's one normal couch and a normal table, but all the posters are framed and covered in spit. so is the tv. not the mention the tz reserved beanbag chair that is almost hard with solid with saliva. they are just constantly slobbering on everything, and john hates it. his bedroom is a slobber free zone. which is why john invites dirk into his room like a fucking dumbass. dirk glew red. he knew by the fact he said this in cargo sweat pants and minecraft socks that he did not know any better. god. (most likely) straight gamer men. he blinked hard.

"i'll check it out, sure. can we just hang out in the living room though?" he shrugged, keeping it cool. just two dude chilling. bros hanging out.
"okay. do you want a water?" john asked, leading dirk to his room (which he had already seen a million times before) to stand there and let him look at all his cool epic (aka shitty awful) movie posters.
"um.. yeah sure," dirk said. he could go for a water. that water would never be delivered. john has already forgotten. they stood in the doorway of john's room. dirk looked around, it was charming. nerdy- yet kinda cool. dirk walked around glancing at bookshelves filled with games mixed in with books, the same way the living room shelves were. john's bed was filled with plushies and pillows- none with a matching pillow case. he had a carpet that looked like grass by his bed, a small tv and a vhs player placed on it. by his bed were stacks apon stacks of vhs tapes. he had some pictures taped up by his window of him and his friends. he had movie collectables spread out on wall shelves and on his desk by his pc. it was cute.
dirk kneeled down my the loose vhs tapes, all out of box but with labels. he looked through the stacks, trying not to jumble them up while john checked his computer. he has some classics. dirk sat down, still shifting through the little movie boxes. john soon came down and joined him.
"did you wanna watch one?" john watched him go through them. he admired that he was careful unlike his brother. dave just whipped shit all over.
"if you want to. i just think they're kinda cool," dirk answered. after he finished going through them, he stood up and stretched. he wandered into the living room, john just automatically following.

they sat on the couch, both on their phones with cable tv sitcoms just playing in the background. john stared at tiktok. his fyp was kind of overrun with hamsters. almost every other video was a hamster just doing something. dirk was texting roxy on and off while scrolling through twitter. every once in awhile one would laugh and show the other a video, but that was about it. it was a great hang out.

dirk, however, did break the silence temporarily.
"snacks?" he said in the most cartoony, whiny, question voice he could muster. john pointed to the kitchen, dirk standing up and sighing in response. he stomped over to the fridge. "well, what do you want?" he asked, staring blankly at the open freezer.
"pizza rolls?" john said, mocking dirks previous whiny tone.
"hey- watch it. i won't microwave you pizza rolls if you keep it up, lazy bastard." dirk joked, obviously getting them the pizza rolls. he wanted pizza rolls. they were the good ones (aka not totino's.) john spent almost the whole rest of time being anxious over if he should go get his ds and play pokemon pearl and risk seeming rude. they just inhaled their snack and went back to making fun of everything that they saw. it honestly wasn't very eventful. i told you, just bro's being dudes.

after, like, a few hours of just chilling and laughing and stupid tiktoks, dirk was getting tired and decided to dip out (his words not mine). he gathered his things and picked up a bit (he's a guest, but he just really wants to be nice to john and keep things going) and left after scruffing up john's hair. tz would probably be home soon... john walked into his room with a 2 liter of sprite and locked himself in.