No Where to go but up ( hawks x reader)

chapter 1

A/n thoughts will look like this.

Y/n pov

I stumble around my small one bedroom apartment picking up black and red feathers. They just wouldn't stop falling from my wings. I sigh giving up throwing all  my discarded  feathers out the window watching them dance in the warm summer breeze.  I've gotten complaints about my feathers flowing into other people apartment windows but at this point I diddnt care. I was fed up with wings,I couldn't even fly anymore. I guess I could still use my smoke but it barely ever worked. I could make black smoke come from my wings and bend it to my will.  It after the incident all i could do was make a shield with the little smile i had left in me. I grunt as i lay back onto the sofa feeling the pressure on my wings. I groan leaning forward taking the weight off of them. My wings used to have such a big wing span. Now they where only long enough to rap around myself and maybe one more person.  I grab the remote turning on the medium sized flat screen tv. I flipped through the channels stopping at the news. 

" he did it again! He saved a total of 20 civilians from a bombing at the local coffee shop!"
The news reporter screamed into the microphone.
Live  footage played of hawks using his feathers to save people at inhuman speed.
Only if that never happen to me. I could be out there helping people. I could be worth somthing

I hadn't realized but I was crying. My cheeks where now wet as tears streamed down my face. I sniffle rubbing my sleeve over my face. I put both hand up to my face as i curl up  recalling the events from the past.

I calmed down after 10 minutes looming out my window. The sun was setting making the sky a masterpiece of orange and red.
Only if I could be up in the clouds again .

I sigh getting up heading over to the fridge looking inside.
Great I have to go out.
I growl shutting the almost empty fridge.  I turn around on my heels heading for my bedroom. I walk into the simple room. The walls where painted f/c with a couple of stickers along the wall. There was a quote right above the bed. Now the bed wasnt anything special. It was just a full sized mattress with a box spring.
So fancy
" remember to smile!" The quote read above my bed on the wall. A dear friend from long ago had giving that to me. Even though they left me disappearing off the earth,it ment alot coming from them.
I look over to my nightstand at the clock.
7:48. I thought as debated on going out or not.
I'll just go tomorrow.
I sighed picking out a black tshirt with a band logo on. I set the shirt in my arms closing the drawer opening the next one. The drawer was filled with all sort if bottoms. I rummaged around until a find a pair of paints that stopped right under the knee. I lay that in my arms as I grabbed a pair of underwear and head to the shower connected to the bedroom. I sat my cholths down on the counter. I got undressed looking back up at my scared body in the mirror. I had a giant scar on my collar bone ,the left side to be exact. That was just one of the bad ones. I had scars all over my shoulders,arms, and legs.
I roll my eyes in disgust turning away from the mirror.  I turned the shower on waiting for the water to heat up.
I trace my finger along the scar on my stomach right under my breast. The bathroom started to fog up. I stepped into the shower shutting the shower door. I sigh in relief feeling the hit water trickle down my body. I cling my wings to my back really not wanting to deal with them.

   I get out of the shower and dry myself off  slipping my cholths on. I had cut slits in the back of almost all my shirts. I walk out of the bathroom into the living room. I situate my shirt as I spread my wings out, they came out if the slits in my shirt. I grunted as my wings stretched out for the first time in a while. My wings almost took up about half the space.
My wings where almost like hawks. But they where black and red. I guess my wings would be a little smaller then his. Now if we where taking Bout before the incident, they would take up the whole room.
I missed my wings. I missed the way it felt to fly, I miss not being in pain all the time. I sighed shaking of of my thinking as i sit down in the middle of the floor. I left my wings spread out. I sit crisscrossed picking out the broken or unhealthy feathers from my right wing.

By the time I was done with my right wing I had a good pile of feathers. I did the same to the left but not nearly as many where in the pile for this side. I grunt in pain as I retract me wings back to my resting softly on my back. They almost touched the floor at how short i was. I picked up both a black and red feather  holding them in my hands. I softly stroke the red feather with my index finger and thumb. I could make them sharp if needed. They had to be attached still to do so. If I was scared or angry they all would get sharp like knives.
I'm 20 years old and I still can't control my broken quirk.
I sighed grabbing my phone looking at the time.
8:43

I goraned gathering my feathers tossing them out the window and shutting it. I lay down on my right side on the sofa turning on my favorite movie.

Hawks pov

I fly around the city getting ready to head back from patrol. I glance over to a apartment building with feathers coming out of a window? I swoop down grabbing a couple and fly gill I'm on the rooftop.  I sat on the ledge examining the feathers in my grasp.
Never seen anybody with two different colors?
They where soft but ragid. They at chips and blood at the base of them.
I bring my attention back to the apartment window. I saw I hand through out about two handfuls.
That's not normal.
Even with me fighting I dont loose that many at a time. Well unless I'm snorting them at people.
I chuckle to myself softly seeing the feathers blow into the wind and the window shut.
I hold onto the black feather. It seemed like the black one had blood covering it then the red one.  I put both the feathers in my coat pocket flying off  taking one more glance T the city before going home.

Y/n

It was now about 10:30. I haven't lost to my more feathers which is good. And I guess the pain in my left wing isn't that bad tonight. I go into the bathroom washing my face and putting my hair up in a messy bun. I lick the front door as I flip down onto my bed stomach first. I gdunt at the hard yet comforting impact to the bed. I crawl up into bed getting my light blanket covering myself.
It did feel better to have my wings stretched out,but they just became a problem that way.
I layed there looking out the window to see a figure fly across the sky.
It must be the hero. Hawk, I have to admit he was pretty hot. And if do anything to have wings like him. Even when they did work properly they couldn't do all the things he could. I could only make smoke and make them sharp.
Here I go comparing myself again.
I shake out of my thoughts shutting the light off.

I layed there forever till i drifted off to sleep around 3 am.