pinky promise. [Skephalo]

Poison

-Vincent-
 
[Tw: Suicide mentions, attempts]

It has been a few weeks since the party.
Social things drain me, it's getting hard to keep anything up anymore.
I'm not finding joy in anything anymore.
I've tried several things.
People try to help, but they're a temporary fix. Once they're gone, every good moment I had with them don't have a everlasting effect on me. I just feel bitter. That's it.
I get worked up over everything. I don't wanna live. I only pain others. Every time they try to help, I push them away and they feel like it's their fault. Their fault they didn't notice, their fault they couldn't help.
I realize life is and isn't a game. You play, you die. You don't respawn. I don't wanna wait for inevitable death. Maybe I'll just kill myself before I die.

There was a slight knock on the door as I sat on the floor with my head in my hands, a steady stream of tears flowing down my face. This had all started a while ago. How'd I get here? No clue.

"Hey- Oh no.."

It was Spifey. How does he always find me like this? He rushed over, his hair messy with bedhead as always. I moved away from him, not wanting hapiness right now.

"What happened?"

"N-No... Just leave.."

"I'm not leaving. Who knows what you might do."

"W-What?"

"I swear to god if you die, I'll die too."

————————————————

I stood at the top of the building, looking down at the cars below me passing by without a clue what might happen. My messy untied shoes stood over the edge, my heels the only thing stopping me from doing it all.

I've waited for this.
I never thought it would boil down to this, but it had.

I felt the wind blow past me, moving my hair as I took a deep breath, watching the sun slowly rise.

I had prepared everything.

A note in hand, ready to be placed on the ground.

If you're reading this, I'm sorry for what I've done. I'm not happy. I'm never happy. I see the sweet release of freedom. I've never had a burden in life, I don't think I ever will, but life is hard. Some people keep going, some people fall behind.

Just know, this is it. Nature's shortcut. Don't miss me. Smile for me.

I know you most likley will forget, everyone does.

Don't blame yourself, everyone does that too. Don't blame yourself you couldn't stop me. Don't blame yourself you couldn't help. Just don't.

Save your breath.

I've done several things wrong. Been lonley, pushed everyone away. They try to help, but every time I think I got it, I fall back in.

Pick up that razor, just a little more poision, just a few more drugs and you'll die..

A suicide note isn't really the last thing I'd love to be writing at the end of my life, but just know, I hope you're happy.

Get over me, nobody cares, and nobody will. It's okay, things happen. Just some don't make it out alive.

There's cars coming, they don't know what's gonna happen. I'm writing this over the edge. I have cried so many times. Every time after, you just feel broken.