Ikaw pa rin ang Pipiliin

Kabanata Apat

  Bumaba ako mula sa Grab car at naglakad na papasok sa company building. I've been sighing ever since I saw Francis's IG story. Ayoko mag overthink because this is not me and I trust Dominic but something's just not right. And I hate to say it pero palaging tumatama mga hunches ko. Hindi na rin nagparamdam si Dominic kahapon. I left him a a lot of messages and called him over and over pero wala talagang sagot. That's why I gave up and just went to sleep last night

I sighed again bago sumakay sa elevator. Dun ako pumwesto sa sulok. I rested my head on the elevator wall as I sighed. I'm sure I won't be able to work properly today. Gusto ko man umabsent pero ang babaw naman ng dahilan ko if itinuloy ko. Baka miss ko lang siya kaya ganito na lang ako makapag react sa hindi niya pagparamdam.

Bumaba ako sa 10th floor at binati 'yung mga nakasalubong ko na mga katrabaho. Dumiretso na ako sa lamesa ko at umupo. I sighed for the nth time. This is not good, Kelsey. You better knock it off kung ayaw mong mapagalitan ka. I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. Tumayo ako at pumunta sa pantry. Maybe all I needed was a cup of cappuccino to bring back the workaholic Kelsey.

"Good morning, Kels," bati sa'kin ni Fatima.

"Morning din, Ims," I faintly greeted back.

"Teka," wika ni Fatima as she placed her mug on the counter. "Asan si Kelsey? Bakit ka sumanib sa kanya? Lumayas ka sa katawan ng kaibigan ko, masamang espirito!"

"Baliw ka Ims," I chuckled. "Ako lang naman 'to eh. Hindi lang okay kaya matamlay."

"Bago ata 'to ah. Never kaya naging hindi okay si Kelsey," Fatima said in surprise. "Ano ba nangyari at hindi ka okay? Family problem? Jowa problem? Self problem?"

"Ewan ko ba kung problema ba talaga 'tong iniisip ko or it's just me overthinking senseless things just to hurt my own feelings," I expressed.

"Ay, jowa problem 'yan. Alam na alam kong jowa problem," Fatima insisted. "Pero first time ata na namroblema ka kay Dominic. What happened? Resbakan na ba namin nila Amanda at Pearl?"

"Paano mo naman nasabi na jowa problem eh wala naman akong binanggit related dun," pahayag ko at ininom 'yung kape ko.

"Easy. You said the word "overthinking", Kels. 'Yun clue ko kapag may jowa problem mga kaibigan ko," she explained.

"Dahil lang sa word na 'yun?" I asked.

"Yes. Kasi kung family problem, hindi ka naman mag ooverthink eh," she started to explain. "You would have probably said na 'ewan ko kung ang sama ko bang anak o ano' or 'hindi ko kasi sila maintindihan eh'. Tapos if self problem naman, 'I've been having anxiety attacks for an unknown reason'. Kaya jowa problem 'yung sa'yo."

"Ang galing ha. Ikaw na talaga, Ims," asar ko sa kanya. "Pero, tama ka. Related nga kay Dom but ayun nga, I don't know if problema ba talaga o hindi."

"Eto lang payo ko sayo, Kels. Stop overthinking and trust him," Fatima said.

I just nodded and smiled. Nagpaalam na siya na babalik sa pwesto niya. Nanatili ako dun sa pantry to finishi my coffee. Sure kasi ako na if dinala ko 'to sa lamesa ay hindi ko na maiinom dahil tutok na tutok nako nun sa trabaho ko. I leaned my back on the counter while continuing to sip from my cup of coffee. Maybe Fatima was right. Ako lang talaga 'yung nagooverthink ng sobra sa mga bagay na hindi naman nangyayari.

Bumalik na ako sa upuan ko pagkatapos ko maubos kape ko. I started my work, editing reports and checking them before sending it kay sir Ignacio. Siya kasi 'yung magsesend ng mga finalized reports sa mga clients namin.