Ikaw pa rin ang Pipiliin

Kabanata Pito

"K-Kelsey! Ano ginagawa mo dito?" Dominic asked in surprise, his eyes filled with fear.

     "Why the hell is she here, Nic? Akala ko bang wala kayong lakad today?" inis na tanong ng babae.

     "Maya na tayo magusap. Umalis ka muna," utos ni Dominic sa babaeng nasa kama niya.

  Tumayo na ang babae mula sa kama ni Dominic, lumabas na ng kwarto at sinadyang mabunggo balikat ko. But I couldn't care any less on what she did to me or will do to me because what I saw was more than enough to hurt me.

     "M-mahal," tawag sa'kin ni Dominic but I didn't budge. "Mahal, i-it's not what you think. I'm not cheating on you. Ano lang 'yun, one night stand pero hapon namin ginawa."

  He continued explaining but I was just standing there, my feet frozen on the ground as my tears continued falling down my cheeks. Everything around me just seemed to stop, leaving me and my broken heart on the ground, crushed into pieces. Dominic Torres, the man I loved since I was 18, just broke the trust he promised he never will.

     "K-Kels, suamgot ka naman, please?" he begged. "I know nagkasala ako and I'm sorry. Sampalin mo ko, sabunutan mo ko, bugbugin mo ko, okay lang. Ipakita mo sa'kin na galit ka."

  My eyes closed on its own as my body fell on the ground. I started to sob hard, pouring all of my pain out. Our happy memories started to fill my head, making me think of the what ifs. I hugged my knees tight as I continued to cry my heart out on my thighs. My tears puddled up on my thighs as I continued to sob.

  The pain I'm feeling right now isn't the same pain you feel when you fight or when you have a misunderstanding. Nor is it the same pain as when you have your menstrual cramps. It's the pain that you can't do anything about but to cry and wish everything was just a dream. No, not a dream. Rather, a nightmare. A nightmare where you're trying so hard to wake up from.

     "M-mahal, t-tahan na. H-hindi ko kayang nakikita k-kang ganyan," he comforted me. "I'm sorry, Kelsey. I'm so sorry. Ewan ko kung ano pumasok sa utak ko nung ginawa ko 'yun. I'm really sorry."

  I tilted my head up and looked at him. He says he's sorry but his eyes show nothing but fear. He looked back at me, his eyes telling me to stop crying. But I knew he didn't want me to stop because he was hurt to see me like this. Rather, he wanted me to stop because he was getting nervous ong how I will react to his sin.

     "M-mahal, tahan na, please?" he begged.

     "Why, Dominic? Why?" I asked, my voice breaking. "Bakit mo 'to nagawa sa'kin? Bakit mo nagawang lokohin ako? Ano ba kasalanan ko? What did I do wrong?"

     "W-wala, mahal. Wala kang ginawang mali. Ako. Ako 'yung may kasalanan. Ako 'yung gago," sagot niya sa'kin.

     "So, why?" I asked again.

  He just looked at me. His eyes wanted to tell me something but his mouth wouldn't want to because he knew it would hurt me. I just hugged my knees again, letting out shuddering sobs. Naramdaman kong umalis siya sa kwarto niya kaya pinakalma ko na 'yung sarili ko. I took deep breaths but everytime I exhaled, my breath would shake. Nagsimula na rin manginig kamay ko.

     "Uminom ka muna ng tubig, mahal," biglang sabi ni Dominic.

  Inabot niya sa'kin 'yung baso na may tubig pero hindi ko tinanggap. I took a few more deep breaths before standing up and making my way to his sofa. Naupo ako dun, niyakap 'yung dalawang paa ko at ipinatong 'yung baba ko sa taas ng tuhod ko. I was still letting out shuddering gasps.

     "Please talk to me now, mahal," Dominic begged as he knelt in front of me.

  I didn't look at him. I just couldn't or else babalik na naman sa utak ko 'yung nakita ko kanina. I just stared into nothing as he continued to beg me to talk to him. Bumalik na naman sa isip ko 'yung nakita ko at nagfocus ako sa mukha ng babae. Her face was familiar, parang nakita ko na siya somewhere.

     "Mahal, please. Magsalita ka na," he begged again.

  Bigla akong napaupo ng maayos when I realized that the girl he was fucking with was the same girl I saw in the IG story. Nanlaki 'yung mata ko as the dots were finally connecting on its own. I looked at him, as the pain I was feeling started to become into anger.

     "Her name's Eunice, right?" I asked him coldly.

     "H-ha? A-anong Eunice, mahal?" he shuddered.

     "The girl you were fucking kanina if hindi ako dumating bigla, her name's Eunice. Tama ba?" I asked again.

     "N-no, m-mahal. H-hindi si Eunice y-'yun," he denied.

     "You don't want me to get mad, Dominic," I warned him. "So please, I'm begging you. Ayoko magalit sa'yo, ayaw kitang saktan, kaya sabihin mo na 'yung totoo. Siya si Eunice 'di ba? 'Yung babaeng inakbayan mo sa IG story ni Francis na sinabi mong bagong miyembro ng team mo. She's the girl you were fucking, right?"

     "Y-yes, mahal. S-siya nga," he finally admitted. "But walang romantic attachments namamagitan saming dalawa. Today was a mistake. I'm sorry."

     "Then why did you lie? Why did you try to hide her identity, Dominic?" I asked.

     "Ayoko lang magkagulo, mahal," he replied. "Aaminin kong mali ako, na may kasalanan ako at napakalaki kong gago and I'm sorry. But please don't include Eunice sa problema natin."

  Umigting 'yung panga ko sa sinabi niya sa'kin. Tinititigan ko lang siya as I tried to control my hand from going on his face. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

     "Wala siyang kasalanan, mahal. Inosente siy. Ako ang may ka–,"

  I interrupted him with a very hard slap on his face. Tumulo ulit 'yung mga luha ko as I stared at him and his cherry red cheeks. Hindi agad siya nakapag react dahil sa sobrang lakas ng pagsampal ko sa kanya.

     "I'm sorry. My hand just lost control and slapped you on its own," I sarcastically said. "Does that make my hand sinless, Dominic? Just like how sinless Eunice is?"

     "K-kels, tama na, please," he pleaded.

     "Kasali na siya sa panloloko mo, Dominic, so stop trying to take her out of this mess!" I yelled at him as tears continued to run down my cheeks. "The moment she agreed with having sex with you, kasali na siya dun. At kahit anong rason ibigay mo, kayong dalawa ang may kasalanan."

  I stood up from the sofa and grabbed my bag that I placed on the floor when I went it. Dominic tried to stop me from leaving but he just received another slap on his other cheek. I looked at him, my eyes filled with anger and pain. He tried to apologize but I was already out of his condo unit. He continued caling my name but I didn't turn around. Binilisan ko paglakad papunta sa elevator para hindi na niya ako mahabol pa. Sumakay agad ako at pinindot 'yung G button.

  I leaned back on the elevator walls and slid down to my heels, crying the pain I'm feeling out. Sobrang sakit sa dibdib pero hindi ko siya mahawakan para naman makontrol ko 'yung sakit na nararamdaman ko. Ganito pala 'yung pakiramdam kapag sinira ng pinakamamahal mong tao 'yung tiwala na binigay mo sa kanya. Ganito pala 'yung pakiramdam kapag niloko ka, kapag pinili niyang saktan ka kesa sa kausapin ka.

  I quickly stood up as the elevator dinged, and untied my hair. I looked down at the floor, letting my hair cover my puffy and swollen face. Buti na lang may bumaba na pasahero sa taxi kaya agad ako sumakay at sinabi 'yung address namin. I reclined on the head rest as my tears spilt from my eyes and flowed down my face like a waterfall.

     "Eto miss, tissue," sabi ng driver sabay abot ng tissue box.

  I thanked him and got the box from his grip. I pulled one piece of tissue and wiped my tears away with it. I looked outside the window as my tears continue to flow down my face. The scene just kept on playing inside my head like it's on replay and I don't know how to stop it. I held onto my chest as it throbbed in pain.

  So this is how it feels, huh? It feels like I was a glass of wine that slipped from the hand's of the owner, fell into the ground and shattered into pieces. What hurts more is that my broken pieces are the ones that are piercing my whole body, especially my heart.