Ikaw pa rin ang Pipiliin

Eighteen

  Bumaba na ako sa GrabCar at naglakad na papasok sa building. Tumayo na ako sa harap ng elevator at hinihintay itong bumukas. Humikab ako habang naghihintay dahil sa antok. Hindi ako nakatulog ng maayos dahil sa pag-uusap namin ni mama. It kept on running through my mind until 4 am.

"Kels, good morning," bati sa'kin ni Fatima. Her smile faded as she saw my face. "Are you already okay? Parang ang tamlay mo pa eh. I think you should still rest at home, Kels."

"Okay na ako, Ims. Inaantok lang kasi hindi ako nakatulog ng maayos," paliwanag ko sa kanya at ngumiti.

"Sure ka ba? Nag-aalala ako sa'yo eh," she said as we rode the elevator.

"Okay lang ako, Ims. Don't worry too much about me," I assured her. "Marami lang nangyari the past few weeks and I don't know how to handle everything. Sobrang dami ng iniisip ko kaya ayun, nagkasakit na."

"Anong mga problema ba? Family? Work? Personal?" she asked. "I know hindi 'yan relationship problems kasi hindi naman kayo nag-aaway ni Dom, 'di ba? Unless, may nangyari para mag-away kayo."

"Ano ka ba? Okay lang kami ni Dom," I lied and smiled at her.

Bumaba na kami sa elevator at naglakad na papasok ng opisina namin. Tahimik lang kaming dalawa but I know she was feeling that something was really bothering me dahil sa bigla niya akong hinila papasok ng rest room.

"I know may problema kayo ni Dom, Kels," she said. "Sabihin mo na sa'kin. I know it's hard keeping it in kaya makikinig ako sa'yo."

"What are you saying, Ims? Wala nga kasi," I told her. Still denying the truth.

"I saw Dominic with another girl sa mall kahapon and they were so sweet kaya alam kong she wasn't a relative or what," she stated. "Kaya please, magsabi ka na sa'kin kasi alam kong nahihirapan ka na itago 'yan. I'll listen, Kels."

"Wh-when did you see them, Ims?"I asked her as my heart started to beat fast.

"So, it's true. Damn him, Kelsey! Kailan mo pa nalaman?" she asked me.

"A f-few weeks ago," I informed her. "Pero kailan mo nga sila nakita, Ims? Please, tell me."

"Yesterday. Nakita ko sila papasok ng F21," sagot niya. "Pero ano nga kas nangyari? Nung kumain tayo sa KFC, alam mo na ba nun?"

"Yes. Mga isang linggo ko nag alam nun," sabi ko sa kanya. "Nahuli ko silang magkatalik sa sariling condo ni Dom. Isosorpresa ko kasi sana siya nung araw na 'yun pero ako pa 'yung na sorpresa sa huli. Turns out, ex niya 'yung kabit niya, and that I was the reason why they broke up nine years ago. The worst news? She's pregnant."

"Wow. Wala ako masabi, Kels. That was too much information," Fatima reacted. "Pero tangina! Ang gago naman ni Dominic para gawin sa'yo 'yun, Kels. I mean, after eight years ng walang problema at pag-aaway, talagang nagawa pa niyang lokohin ka. And eto pa, sa ex pa niya talaga ha. Gago, sarap ipabugbog sa mga kuya ko."

"I know. Kaya ilang araw akong absent dahil sa I was trying to put myself back together but hindi ko pa rin mabuo eh," naiiyak kong sabi sa kanya. "Kasi sa totoo lang, ang sakit pa talaga. Hindi ko alam kung paano mawala 'yung sakit, kahit temporary lang. 'Yung kahit kapag nasa trabaho lang ako. Para makapag focus ako somehow pero hindi eh. It still fucking hurts."

"I know it does, Kels. Being cheated on hurts like hell," she agreed and hugged me. "Iiyak mo lang 'yan, Kels. Cry until it hurts no more. Andito lang ako para sa'yo. Nakapag-usap na ba kayo ni Dom?"

"Ever since nag-usap kami last week, no. He tried to talk to me but I pushed him away," sagot ko kay Fatima habang pinupunasan pisngi ko.

"May plano ka bang kausapin siya?" she asked.