Up and Down love

Part 18

Ag:

I should have just let her come in the shower with me, but I couldn't. Seemed like I couldn't do a lot lately.

I got out and wrapped myself in a towel with my hair put up with another one. I went over to the counter and smiled. The things that have been done and will be done on the counter, but not if I keep pushing her away like this. My mind was made up... I had to try to tell her.

I came out in my towel and went to get some clothes. I instantly saw Anna's eyes dart my way.

"You have to be careful walking around like that. One tug and it could all be gone."

"Easy there tiger." We both laughed and I came over and kissed her. I threw on some clothes and the whole time she kept looking over. There was so much concern and I could feel that wanting in her eyes. To just know what's been going on.

I sat back against the headboard and pulled her back into me. Her hands were on my thigh and I traced her fingers with mine. "You know a lot of relationships break because they aren't honest and talk about things."

She lunged forward and looked back at me. "Yeah?"

I pulled her back against me, "I'm not ending things bubs. I just need you to listen to me... It's not easy."

She nodded her head and I went on. "Sometimes for no reason, I just don't believe in myself. I show this happy doesn't give a crap kind of attitude on tik tok, but when it comes down to it. I'm not all that. The thoughts that fill my head become toxic to were a lot of the time I can't escape. Imagine having to fight yourself because that's what it feels like. The worst part about it is I don't know why I'm like this. All I know is it makes me want to shut everyone out." I started to tear up. Damn, I am a soft bottom. "I know it might not make sense, but I can't let myself push you away. You are the thing in my life that is pure and makes me a better me. I will be okay, but I need  to find a healthy way to get through it." I laid my head back and stared up at the ceiling. "I'm not asking you to give me an answer or even a reply. I just wanted to let you into this because I love you and I promised I would never let anything come between us."

I did want her to say something, but I didn't know what I wanted. 

She sat up and looked at me, "Could you just lay down?"

I laid myself down and watched as she put her body on top of mine. She let out a big sigh and I could feel my anxiety spike.

"I can't tell you how happy I am that you finally told me. I'm not exactly sure what the next step is, but I promise till the day I die that I will always be here for you. I will go through all costs because Anna Grace McDaniel you are worth the work and deserve more than anyone to be happy. It's okay to not be okay, but we can't have this going forever." She lifted my chin and kissed me. "I will always be here for you because I love you and care so much."

My heart went into double time. I used to not think I could love again, but this girl, my girl, deserves all the love. 

For the first time in a while I knew...

Everything will be okay  

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

<3 Hope you enjoyed!