𝑨 𝑺𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝑻𝒐 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑽𝒐𝒊𝒅 [ 𝐶𝑜𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑑 ]

Unsent Letter to Grandpa

In these uncertain and fragile times, it is when I enthrallingly write your name on my walls, on the pages of my journal, on crumpled sheets of regrets and solace grief, on the flyleaf of my favorite books and sometimes on my palms - making you live again. But each night, I would watch the sombre reality washes you away, like how the cyan waves on the shoreline erase the doodles I made on the sand - I watch you be gone.

The whole thing cannot be swallowed by me still - it feels like there is an apricot in my throat. The gods must have memorized what's on my head - hearing my wish at every 11:11 wrapped around my blue-tainted hopes. You see, I am still counting days and nights, hoping that when I reach my count to a hundred, your shadow will pop in front of me. I am still looking at the same midnight sky we used to stare at summer nights, along with my cup of milk and your almost cold cofee. You named a lot of constellations after me and in those nights of childhood and wishes, I forgot to name the moon after you - you were the brightest celestial for me.

I highly object when english bards mumble that separations are inevitable, someday one will kiss its own goodbye - I object, how can I not? How can I not when I still smell the saccharine aroma of your incense? How can I not when I still can see your shadows sitting on the porch and how can I not when I can still see you at my dreams?

Farewells don't happen, because you has not even utter a goodbye yet. When a person leaves, one must write a letter about the departure so still, in the ocean of disbelief, mystification, nightmares and fallacies - you are alive.

Happy father's day to the best grandfather in the whole
wide world! You are
and will forever
be alive
in me.

&. Know that my love for you is more powerful than the boundaries of this lifetime. See you after a bunch of summers, lolo.