Sadness waited every night until I was the weakest, spilling out, flooding the bed. Sadness was slimy and slippery, I had to cling to the edge of the bed with all my might so that my body wouldn't drift along the floor straight down and hit the wall at the foot of the bed.
You will never get used to it, but the people around you will get used to it. The people around will gradually see it as a matter of course, such as being with a stench for a long time will not smell it anymore. My friends Thao and Tuan Jun, the two people who are closest to me, by the way, sorry both of you, for making you smell the stink. My friends were like that, they decided, if they were, they would still be the same, they would still hang out with me, but they still had to live. I said I'm sorry I couldn't go out, I'm sorry, I didn't have any air. So from there, every activity was held to my home. We went home to watch movies, They went to my house for coffee, I didn't do anything at home. They came over, I was refreshed when we ordered pizza. When they came over, I was lying face down on the floor without moving, they ordered pizza to eat next to me, even when I am lying face down on the floor without moving.
For many years, because it was exactly the last time that time, my friend got nervous. In the first few years, every time Thao came to me I sighed, Thao couldn't come, Thao would call Tuan Jun to come and come and take care me, Thao cooked porridge every time I was sick. A few years later, I persisted. Thao asks me "Can you get bored until tomorrow, wait for me, I'll be free tomorrow."
Depression is not like a knife, stabbing you one shot so you can die. That is too easy. It forces you to live, so that you can die slowly, die old, die miserable and let the people around you applaud you for choosing to die slowly instead of fast. The problem is no one understands, it is us, the sad people that we are not happy, or that we do not believe we will be happy. We know, knowing that life is there and there, and one day we will sleep peacefully for awhile. The point is, we're tired of that. We were tired because we have to go through ups and downs, even though we are here and knew that tomorrow would move out of the way, but then we would have to relive this choking sensation soon. We are tired. We are literally bored of living. We fear the feeling of forever running in a circle with the illusion that one day we will escape. Every time we fall down and get up again, we get a little less tired, and then we let go, because why run forever when everyone's destination was the same?
I'm fed up with the people around and their meaningless encouragements.
Let me give you an example, my problem here is like a dead fish. The first person says, "Did you try to change the water for the fish tank?", The second person says, "Try to buy another fish to replace this fish." The third person says, "Have you tried moving the tank to another place? " All, I agree, are all ways of solving problems, but not my problems. Which is the story, that's the story, the fish is dead, what is there left to solve?
YOU ARE READING
Lỗi - Error 404 English Translation
No Ficción"Finally, my autobiography book, Error 404 is out, after 2 years of work. It actually took me only 6 months to write 99% of the book, but couldn't write the ending for a long, long time. I wrote a book about a child who was sexually abused, unhappy...
