In the midst of all this, I still struggled in my misery. My lover doesn't support my sales at all, because he thinks I'm stressed out by taking on too much work. But really, I love my job. No, love is not it, I need my job. It's like a grater, it's like a stimulant, it's an outlet for things stirring in my brain, it helps me focus on something other than the pain in my body. Anyone who thinks I'm stressed out of work doesn't really understand me, I'm always stressed, nowadays I just seem to have something to blame.
You are a part of my life that I have never taken out. Having lived together for so many years, living in the same house, dancing in the same park, but except for my close friends, I have never once posted pictures of him or ours on social media. I don't really have a specific reason why I do it, it's simply the thought of getting him to the public has never been produced in my mind, and he never did ask. I am a very discreet person at work, even though my life represents the world online, I don't talk about what I do, I just do it and you guys see it. On rare occasions when I could insert a meal to eat with him, he asked how work was, I said it was normal. You know when I take pictures or blog something, like the page to support, but you really don't understand what I do. You just know that I love my job, and because I'm devoted to it, you support it. Besides, he was the type of person, if it wasn't something he cared about, then he would close an eye about it. So when I talk about work, he just hums. He is only concerned with his responsibilities, and his passion for dancing is the minimum part of his spiritual life that he allows himself to have. We are more like a spoon and a fork than a pair of chopsticks: the same use, the same active substrate, are two separate individuals but lying in the same drawer. We are very similar but also too different: different enough to share, similar enough that each of us share each corner of the bed every night, everyone has work, so we don't say a word.
You can't help me, you just make me more angry. I do not understand. I don't want to understand. He did not listen. He did not want to hear.
So I have to google again.
If the readers come here and start to get upset, you don't understand what's going on, why I am telling all kinds of stories, doing all kinds of things like that, the reason is very simple: Because I'm bored. I'm bored, and I hate that people tell me things like "Go out and play", "Go find your passions and hobbies", "Have a dream". I want to do it all - I mean everything - and I'll be good, just so that when someone comes up to teach me about life even though I don't really understand what's going on, I will say, "Tao I did it, I did it, but depression is depression, and I'm bored, and you'll have to accept it. " I'm not fine, but I'm fine with not being fine. The screams to my world, I have to explain to everyone, that I don't need to be saved. That scream came out unconsciously after I jumped the bridge, just before I hit the water. It's a rhetorical question, I don't need an answer, I just want to live so well that no one can tell me anything like: "Because you haven't really tried yet."
There is everything, but forever feels nothing, forever is like that.
YOU ARE READING
Lỗi - Error 404 English Translation
Non-Fiction"Finally, my autobiography book, Error 404 is out, after 2 years of work. It actually took me only 6 months to write 99% of the book, but couldn't write the ending for a long, long time. I wrote a book about a child who was sexually abused, unhappy...
