In 2012, I set up a forum for people with eating disorders to talk to each other about the healing process. I spend a great deal of time reaching out to people who are in the same situation as me, because I know how lonely it is. I take responsibility for myself, because I am - mentally and physically exhausted - but I still want to save the world.
The forum has been in operation for almost two years, has a chat room for you to chat with, addresses of doctors, treatments, and a confession room for people who are trapped. I made more friends up there than I thought, and there was one special person who later became one of my best friends.
This girl is a singer, sings sad songs, and sings well. Also a celebrity, living a life that is not much different from me. We're close because we share the same secret, we talk day and night, send each other photos of meals, Face-timed each other every night when we're scared to sleep. Meeting on the street is not talking, just going back and chatting right away: "At today's event, there is this and that."
We lived online together like that for about eight months, then the calls gradually stretched. My friend was falling apart more and more as her voice faded from binge / purge, but my friend, like me, knew the end and still rushed in. I don't know what to do for my friends, because we are one, and I don't know even how to help myself, so I don't know how to help my friend. I stood and watched her slide, promising only to follow soon.
Then one day, my friend committed suicide, and my friend succeeded.
The only thing that made me feel better back then, is the sadness, the suffering I'm going through right now, my friend doesn't have to endure it. My friend is gone, always does not come back. All these doubts, depression, hiccups every night, this honor to die, only I enjoy.
Then from these doubts, depressions, nightly hiccups, I realized one thing: This sadness is not the only one I have, the whole world is mine now. She is not here for anything anymore, forever. I wonder why am I so blind that I can't see the truth right in front of my eyes?
Death is not the worst thing to ever happen to my friend. My friend went to the newspaper, online, more famous than ever. The section "Mercifully" reports the news that irritates me: my name, my work, how many brothers in my family, ... doesn't mean anything to me or my friends. Why is there no item that says what eye color my friend has, how my friend loves animals and has adopted a dozen dogs at home. Why not?
Sayings easy to guess, often found, and the most annoying you can hear at funerals is "What a waste!" or "What a pity!". I hate you if you complain. That word is short for: "Too boring, you could live for nearly fifty years, dedicating yourself to a vile society that doesn't even remember what color your eyes are but requires you to live well to dedication, yet you die again. "
Ordinary people also allow themselves to think that they are smarter than people who commit suicide. Common words used to describe an act of suicide are foolishness, selfishness, or stupidity. Ordinary people say life is long, there are many things that have not been experienced, then: "Everything has a solution." The average person never understands - we know better than anyone what we have, and what we don't have. Ordinary people tell us not to think about our family, not to love our parents. Sorry, we thought forever, thought about it when bored, thought about wanting to die too.
We stop looking for ways to let ourselves stop living in sadness, when we realize that the end of sadness means the end.
YOU ARE READING
Lỗi - Error 404 English Translation
No Ficción"Finally, my autobiography book, Error 404 is out, after 2 years of work. It actually took me only 6 months to write 99% of the book, but couldn't write the ending for a long, long time. I wrote a book about a child who was sexually abused, unhappy...
