Fumiko was almost 3 months into her 6th grade school year and there was something exciting yet nerve-wracking that constantly plagued her mind.There were many things that plagued her mind at the moment,but the issue constantly circulating around in her mind stood out from everything else.Especially with the homecoming dance coming up next week,making her feelings even more inevitable now than ever.
Fumiko had developed a huge crush on her best friend,Aiyana Richardson over the past three months of school.Fumiko thinks that she's had a repressed,subconscious crush on Aiyana since 4th or 5th grade,but she only became aware of it this year.When Fumiko first realized she had feelings for Aiyana,she wasn't surprised by how her crush on Aiyana formed at all.
Aiyana was very charismatic,intelligent,compassionate,and very affectionate towards everyone she cared about.She was also funny,tenacious,and extremely beautiful.Aiyana was nothing short of perfect in Fumiko's eyes and she didn't just want to be Aiyana's best friend,she wanted to be her girlfriend before someone else could get the chance to ask her out.
All Fumiko could do right now is hope and dream that one day she will be Aiyana's girlfriend.But,hopes and dreams can never become real without any action behind them.A concept Fumiko was very well-acquainted with and tried to remember in every aspect of her life.
That's why Fumiko planned on asking Aiyana to the homecoming dance,but she's worried about what may happen if she asks to the homecoming dance at all.Let alone muster up the courage to ask her out before knowing if she even liked girls in the first place.All of these racing thoughts made Fumiko ask herself a few questions.
"What if I can't tell her that I have romantic feelings for her?"
"What if my feelings for Aiyana are unrequited?"
"What if she doesn't even like girls and I ruin our friendship?"
"What if Aiyana and I ever became more than friends,but everyone rejected us for being gay?"
To Fumiko,the fourth scenario would be the worst possible scenario.She could have the person she loved more than life itself to reciprocate the love Fumiko has for her,but everyone else would abandon her and reject her.Abandonment & Rejection for two of Fumiko's biggest fears and emotional triggers.
Even though she would have an amazing girl like Aiyana in her life and she would eventually let go of people who showed her conditional love or unsaturated malice after coming out of the closet,it still wouldn't stop her heart from breaking and the tears from pouring down her cheeks.
She also wouldn't want to be a burden on Aiyana by becoming depressed and showing signs of unhappiness when Fumiko has her.
She knew Aiyana would try her best to fulfill the deep void that would be in her life and would stop at nothing until Fumiko was happy again because Aiyana is very selfless when it comes to her,but that would be too big of a burden to place on Aiyana's shoulders.Fumiko hated the idea of being nothing more than a burden on the people she loved.
Especially Aiyana,she deserved better than to feel taken for granted because she hypothetically couldn't make Fumiko's depression and abandonment issues go away.She wasn't the person responsible for Fumiko's trauma that acted as a catalyst to her mental illnesses.
If anything,Aiyana made that pain more bearable by being the light in a world full of darkness for Fumiko since elementary school.She taught Fumiko how to be a stronger & better person with her kindness and optimism.
Aiyana always radiated a form of strength and determination that Fumiko could feel whenever Aiyana did anything.Whenever she would motivate and encourage other people with her words of wisdom or whenever she would bring people together with her passion and charisma.She was never devoid of that strength,determination,or optimism.
Ever since they became friends towards the middle of the year in 3rd grade,Fumiko felt like Aiyana made her better just by being her friend.Before they became friends,Fumiko only knew how to be one thing:What everyone else wanted her to be.She always strived to exceed her father's expectations for her and society's expectations of her.
That included her reputation at school,from having the highest grades in all her classes by studying for hours on end to be the prettiest girl in her grade by obsessing over her looks to make sure she didn't have a single physical flaw detectable.
As as result,Fumiko constantly felt trapped by the fear of failure and imperfection.She felt like she could never escape the mold everyone wanted her to be placed in.Fumiko hated everything second of it because she knew if she didn't do any of those things anymore,her father would completely reject her.
Her classmates would ridicule her for not being "little miss perfect" anymore.Her friends and family would worry incessantly about her,which Fumiko would deny anything was wrong for their sake.
So,Fumiko hid all of her true feelings under a facade and resented the other kids for not having to be like her.Aiyana was nothing like her at all and was her own person who never submitted her freedom to anybody,which made Fumiko resent her a lot more than her other classmates.
The resentment was mutual because Aiyana thought Fumiko was an uptight,stuck-up goody two shoes while Fumiko thought Aiyana was a stubborn,pretentious
rulebreaker.
Behind that resentment,there was respect and envy towards Aiyana on Fumiko's behalf.She was able to express her individuality and freedom the way Fumiko could only dream of doing.She only learned how to value her own individuality and freedom after they became friends then eventually best friends.Three years later,the only label Fumiko wants from Aiyana is girlfriend.
With that thought in mind,Fumiko realized what she needed to do next.She needed to ask Aiyana to the homecoming dance before someone has that chance.Fumiko won't let anyone else take her chance of something more with Aiyana away from her.
Fumiko was ready and willing to put everything on the line for the catalyst of what's to come for what may be in her near future.And it all started with the Prosperity Peak's Homecoming Dance next week!
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Our Dreams of Freedom:A Coming Story
Teen FictionEver since Fumiko was two years old,her father made a promise to himself that Fumiko was going to be the perfect daughter for him and perfect wife for her future husband. Fumiko was taught from a very young age that her main goal & priority in life...
