Our Dreams of Freedom:A Coming Story

Chapter 12-Society's Shackles

"You created the LGBT club at Aristocrat Academy and now...you're the club's president?"Aiyana asked,directing her question towards Amarion.

"Yeah,but it was not easy by any means...going against the grain to advocate for a marginalized group's rights never goes down without a fight."Amarion replied,a chuckle being present with his response like doing that wasn't a big deal.

It was a big deal to Aiyana because not everyone would risk standing for something they truly believe in the face of potential consequences.Not everyone is brave or outspoken enough to do something like that either,that's something else Aiyana took into account.Amarion may be downplaying his success with creating a club meant to help LGBT youth like it wasn't that big of deal,but she knew that he had a lot on line he put at risk.His courage,His voice,and His reputation were all out on the line when he chose to advocate for a LGBT club that would provide services for LGBT youth.

She thought that was a pretty impressive and badass thing to do,especially considering the fact his mom is a hardcore Christian who doesn't like gay people after all.Aiyana was no stranger to that mindset because her mom is the exact same way and she tries to force her homophobic beliefs onto her like it belongs with good Christian values.

She hated that more than anything because she always thought it made most Christians look homophobic and intolerant,which Aiyana also hated because that's not the first thing she wants people to think whenever Christianity is mentioned.Aiyana considered herself a child of God and she always tries her best to do by him when she can,but she absolutely doesn't think that "being gay is a sin" by any means at all.

The only time she came close to holding such a hateful and bigoted mindset towards gay people was when she was little,between five to six years ago when she believed whatever her mom told her about God,Christianity,and The Bible.She cringed thinking about all times her mom made her believe that being gay was a sin was true because it wasn't her own beliefs,it her mom warping her view of gay people when she was completely naive and impressionable.The fact that her mom made her think that was okay to believe annoyed her because she was setting Aiyana up to be homophobic.

Now that she was much older and could form her own opinions without being swayed,Aiyana never looked back on believing everything about that's associated with Christian values the way her mom does.Her opinion being Christian was about following God's Plan for you and not letting anyone change that because God makes no mistakes.Everybody's plan is different according to God's will and that includes LGBT people or any other marginalized group of people.

Aiyana also believed that Christianity was a religion meant to cope with hardships of life.Or at least,that's how she views being a Christian and following the plan God made for you.She would pray when things got extremely bad for her or she felt like she had no hope left in her heart.Things would get better in the best way possible no matter long it took or how bad things were at first.

Aiyana thanked God giving her the strength to persevere and for never giving up on her,which only strengthened her willpower and her ability to be optimistic in the face of hardships.She believed Christianity only made a her stronger,more resilient person with the ability to cope in order to keep moving.Aiyana even owned two cross necklaces and wore one around her neck on a regular basis,usually as a reminder that she always has something to believe in for a little extra hope.

Her positive experience with Christianity made her want other people to see why religion can be a good thing in this world,not always something to divide everyone because of the extremists who made other religious people look overly judgmental.Aiyana also found it kinda heartbreaking that people became atheists only because their parents or their families ruined Christianity for them.Not because those people wanted to be atheists,but because their families made them abandon Christianity.

Aiyana talked about this a lot with Amarion when she first met him.She felt really bad knowing that the reasons she described were why he couldn't be a Christian anymore.Of course,she was glad he decided to do what was best for him and his mental health...but the backstory behind it was saddening nevertheless.Aiyana liked listening to Amarion teach her about other important stuff she never even knew was a thing before meeting him and learning from him.

Topics such as Homophobia In The Black Community,Being Black & Gay(And How Their Hardships Are Different from Non-Black/Non-POC LGBT People/Straight Black People),and The African Diaspora & The Effects It Has On Cultural Identify Issues In Black People.

Everything Amarion taught Aiyana made sense to her and she could relate to those issues in one way or another.She never knew those feelings of being misunderstood or somewhat lost had names or concepts behind them.Like being confused on why she knows exactly where her half-Jamaican ancestry comes from on her mom's side of the family,but not having any clue or confirmation which African country her dad's side of the family descended from.

Aiyana found a sense of security and inner peace after finding out that she wasn't the only one who wanted to know where her ancestors specifically came from,not just the vague answer of "Africa","a country in Africa",or anything like that.She didn't think she would even find security in that or anything else she had seriously related to feeling lost and confused about.However,Amarion wasn't the only person who helped guide her on the journey of much needed enlightenment.

There were certain things Amarion just couldn't teach her about due to a lack of understanding,perspective,or personal experience.That's where Alexandria came in and stepped up,taking on the role as one of Aiyana's honorary older sisters by being a source of advice & inspiration.Aiyana looked up to Alexandria like she was her own big sister because of how close they had gotten the past few months,which made her feel like she wouldn't need to fear being misguided as an inexperienced preteen.

Alexandria taught Aiyana important information and topics like Mental Health & How Harmful The "Strong Black Woman" Stereotype Is(And How It Affects Black Women Struggling with Mental Illnesses).Finding out that black women are only expected to be mentally and emotionally invincible because of the perpetual "Strong Black Woman" Stereotype made several dots in Aiyana's mind connect.A liberating realization she was glad she got to know before it was too late to undo the damage of unnecessary,internalized pain and suffering.

She didn't have to force herself to be emotionally invincible or invincible in general because at the end of the day...she was still just a person with a breaking point and vulnerable weak spots like everybody else.Aiyana no longer needed to feel ashamed of getting hurt emotionally and crying when she was alone.Aiyana no longer needed to feel ashamed of having anxiety attacks when faced with confrontation,even if she tried to desperately hide her uncontrollable trembling and shaking.Aiyana no longer needed to feel ashamed of not wanting to pretend like she was okay all the time just for her family's sake.

Alexandria taught her that she no longer needed to feel ashamed about anything she thought needed to kept hidden.Her Mental Health,Her Vulnerability,and Everything Else In Between.Aiyana was once confused by how free from society's shackles Alexandria seemed to be,not understanding how she could continue to go against the grain with everything else against her.

Only to realize,Alexandria wasn't always the way she was now...she once walked in the same shoes Aiyana was currently wearing.Her immense knowledge came from her equally immense experience and her experience came with pain.Maybe Aiyana didn't have the experience yet because she was still pretty young.Or...maybe she didn't understand the pain that comes with it because she was still innocent.However,one of those things might come or go as time goes on.