You Hold My Pieces [completed]

Family And Foes

Listen to : Are you happy by shy Martin

When you feel like no one has got your back
You want to cry but no tears come out
You're depressed and distressed and you need someone to vent to
Everyone else runs away and I'm the one you're willing to cry to
I know I've always been there but don't count on me this time
When you feel like everyone is out to get you
And there's no one else you can tell who understands you
When you remember how you left me in the shadows after I helped you
and you try your best to redeem what we had but you don't know what to do
Just know I'll listen but I won't be your someone to turn to

I gave you everything,
I was poor but I made diamond out of your tear drops
Every time the world broke you, I was there ready to defend you
But when all your fake friends asked why you're around someone with blunt edges
You never told them how it happened, how being around you made me so ugly
That I sacrificed my perfection to cut you into a fine jewel how I brought out the brilliance that was trapped within you
Your friends looks shiny but you're the only real dime
I stepped down to hold your hand in your darkness
But you turned on the light so you and your friends could shine
And it didn't matter to you when I went blind
Because finally you could be around people " like you"
So don't call on me when you lose your light
It's too hard to try and save myself from the gutters just to be there for you
So I'll live my so called lowlife
And be the lowly type of person that you loathe
you could go back to being as empty as you were before you met me
I won't take back the light that I gave you but I won't be there to keep you spotless
I hope you know that dirty diamonds won't shine because they can't see the light

I read the last page of the evidence of my bitterness before I tear it out of my journal and burn it in the fire I had lit to warm me up. I was grateful that Liam and I had talked things through and we were trying to start afresh. I did get a little mad when I was told Malachi was responsible for the humiliation I had faced once more but I was tired of digging into something that would only give me more pain than closure. I made up my mind to forgive whoever it was whether it was Jen, Liam, Harry, Malachi or Kyle. I missed Kyle, a lot. I was thinking about him as I was burning most of the journal entries I had made when I felt hurt seeing him with someone else. I wondered if he had told Malachi that we were together again or I was telling myself things that weren't real. Technically Kyle had not asked me out again, officially but with all the things we had been saying to each other over the phone the whole weekend I did not feel like a fool for assuming we were something. If I was wrong however I would deal with the consequences of my assumptions but right now all I needed was to let go of all the toxic energy within me. Liam came into the room with the rose scented candles and smiled at me as he placed them on the table before lighting them. I got up and went to dump the remains of my journal in the trash can before coming back to the living room to rewatch Legally Blonde. Liam had come here very early in the morning to help me to clear my mind as he had called it but it ended up with just me having to burn journals . I felt like I was losing a part of my mother because the bitterness I felt was the only strong emotion that still kept me linked to her.

We sat there looking at the screen totally focused on the movie. We were not as chatty as we used to be but we were still comfortable around each other. I guess that's what happens when friends spend too much time away from each other. I was entirely honest with him about the controversial situations in my life and he opened up about liking his new girlfriend. She was not one of my favorite people but I had to bear with her for me to keep my resuscitated friendship alive. We talked about what would happen with his friendship with Jen and he begged me to try and hear her side of the story but deep down we both knew she would never be the one to tell.

After watching only a quarter of the movie Liam told me he had plans with his girlfriend. I felt like he was just a bit desperate to escape the awkwardness between us so I let him leave. I felt lonely at home since my father had gone out for business brunch which was bound to end a bit late. I tried calling kyle with no success and I just ended up deciding to go back to the lake. I had not returned there since that day and I felt guilt every time I thought of going there but it was the only part of my mom that I did not hate. I took out the big photo album from the book shelf to go and look at while I was there. I put in on the passenger seat and drive in silence to the lake.

When I get there I see small golden lights hanging from my favorite gazebo. I wonder if I am intruding on someone's celebration. I decide to walk to the other side of the lake to sit there instead. The moment I start walking away I hear a voice. Soft and careful as if he was afraid I would be scared off and run away

" Stay Ronnie ", he says with so much passion it feels like a midsummer night's dream. He steps close enough to me before hugging me tight from the back covering me with his huge jacket.

" Why would you come out dressed like this when the weather is cloudy. You'll catch a cold. "

I feel butterflies swarm in the pit of my stomach as if a shock wave of emotions sent the cage that was holding them spiraling open. I close my eyes unsure of what to say. Truth be told I had come to this place to cry over the burden of not knowing what to do with my mother coming back but I was about to cry for a different reason. I feel tears form in my eyes before a stream falls in silence with some drops splashing onto his jacket. He doesn't say a word instead he turns me around and hugs me tighter.

" Don't cry now, it will be okay. "

He pats me on softly my back like a father trying to calm his daughter down knowing she is crying because she misses someone who abandoned her without a trace. He wipes my tears before letting me go and holding my hand. He pulls me into the gazebo and I see pictures of my childhood hanging from the ceiling each with a note on the back. I close my eyes trying to calm myself so that I can make sense of the situation.

" Malachi, I don't deserve you. I'm sorry to have wasted your time but it's Kyle..... "

I can see he is no longer paying attention to my words as he is looking at the approaching vehicle. Kyle parks his car recklessly and leaves the engine on when he comes charging at us.

" Kyle! ", I shout trying to stop him from following through with the intent written all over his face.

" Don't " he barely finishes the word before punching his brother right in the face.

Malachi touches the blood on his nose before smiling at Kyle
" I see you've grown some balls brother ", he punches Kyle hard in the face.

" Malachi, stop, Kyle! ", I shout as the punches fly back and forth. Without thinking, I run trying to stop Kyle but I feel Malachi's punch that was aimed at Kyle with full force right on my head before the world gets blurry.