The Rules Of Pursuit

35. The Forest

I felt no pain, no anger, no despair. I felt nothing. 

I wanted to break down, but didn't have the strength to do that even. I finally acknowledged the truth.

'You are horrible person.' My mind screamed and for the first time my heart didn't protest. Avinash's Instagram pictures had laid down before me the very truth I had been denying to see.

Damini and Avinash were happy with each other, and I was the skunk who wanted to break them up.

I was the antagonist in this story. All along I had been the antagonist in Damini and Avinash's story. Damini was never at fault. We both liked Avi, like thousands of other girls. But Avi had chosen Damini over everyone else.

Damini had fallen for him the very first time she saw him in the courtyard. Just like I had fallen for him in the corridor outside the cafeteria. Avinash hadn't even noticed me in the corridor, yet he had kept stealing glances at Damini in the courtyard.

It was all in plain sight. He had nothing for me. Rather I was throwing myself at him, scheming to steal him away from his girlfriend.

Damini and Avinash probably loved each other, but hadn't realized it, just like Mandy-Natasha and Mia-Fatima. Yet I wanted to separate them. I wondered how I would feel if someone tried to take Natasha away from Mandy, or Fatima away from Mia.

When did I turn into this monster? I have to stay away from Avinash. All this while I felt Damini was horrible, but in reality it was me who was the horrible person.

Just like a meteor across the night sky, the truth flashed across my mind. I finally realized what this meant. I had been in denial for too long. I pretended that I just wanted to sleep with him.

I was so scared of its intensity that I had tried to push it away. But if not to anyone else, I needed to be honest to myself.

Yes, I was in love with Avinash Chauhan.

I knew it would be never be reciprocated, yet I wanted to hold on to this feeling. The feeling authors wrote poems about.

Though no poems, no words, nothing can ever describe it. Unless you feel it yourself, you won't know. To each, it is different yet same. When I embraced my feelings for Avinash, it was easier to let go of all grudges and disappointments.

I was ready to accept him with Damini. I wanted him to be happy with whomever he was. Even if it meant my heart breaking into thousand pieces, I wanted him to be happy.

"Naxi," a nudge on my shoulder brought me to the present. I was still seated in Avinash's passenger seat, but my mind had drifted off to a parallel world.

"Where were you?" He asked worry etched on his forehead. "Are you alright?"

"Sorry, must have zoned out." I replied rubbing my nape. 

"Where are we?" I asked. Our car was parked outside a creeper-covered wall.

"The Forest Cafe and Lounge." Avinash said cheerfully.

"I thought you were going to drop me to the hotel." I tried not to look at him.

"I thought you wanted to see The Forest," his voice faltered "you said back there."

That was just to calm his nieces.

"Never mind," I unlocked the door and climbed down.

The Forest indeed was beautiful. There was an open-air courtyard cafe, which was separated from the lounge bar by a glass wall. Both the cafeteria and lounge bar were decorated with fairy lights. Avi walked me to the lounge where no kids were allowed.