The only one for me

chapter ten

Christian
When anger gets the best part of me , all I want is to be alone. I go to my office after the meeting and decide to go through the emails. They make my mood even worse. Especially the one from one of the investors. He wants an update meeting to be held tomorrow.

What on earth am I going to tell them. I spend hours trying to cook something.up myself. If the marketing team won't do it how about I handle it myself.

But am not so good at this. Everything is not going right. I am falling apart and I feel like nothing is gonna be able to put  me back together. I am lost ,confused and in serious need of coffee.

I hear a knock on the door. I don't want to see anyone or talk to anyone. The person knocks again. I don't answer. But what if its her. What if its Dana?

I can't believe my thoughts right now. I am thinking about her even when my company is at the verge of losing investors.
"Come in. "I end up giving in and I was right. It's her.

I keep my eyes on the laptop avoiding any kind of contact. She walks over to the table and the clicking of heels makes me feel an uncertain warmth. She places a cup of coffee infront of the laptop. How did she know I was in need of it?

Did I mention how great her coffee is. It's the best I have ever tasted and it makes Rebecca's coffee taste like baby burf. I want to look at her but I don't want to get trapped in those magical pools.

My eyes raise to the coffee and then back to the laptop. Fighting the urge to take her in my arms and kiss her senseless. She turns to walk away. I can't do it anymore.

I can't push the feelings away any longer. I need her and I need her now. I get out of my chair and walk to her grabbing her wrist. She lands in my chest and her eyes meet mine....

~~~~~
After I dismiss Rebecca and Dana, I remain in the office alone with Stella. I was rude to Dana and I have to do something to make amends. I know she didn't like the way I told her to go away.

But seeing Stella reminded me of my sad reality. How am not good enough for Dana.
"What do you want?" I ask as I sit back in my chair. She sits on one of the club chairs and puts her purse on the other.

I have to admit that she still looks really attractive. Her long red hair and her rosy lips. With the big black eyes but now after seeing Dana , I feel like she is not all that beautiful.

"Aren't you happy to see me?"
"No!"I say with ease sitting back in my chair and watching the disappointment play all over her face. Seeing her sickens me. It puts me in the worst position in life.

"Look ,Chris, I was scared and I had no idea what to do. I didn't know how to tell you or talk to you about it. I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't mean to. "
I watch her and remember the torment I went through right after she pulled an unfunny stunt.

"Get out of office. " I say and then walk to the windows and look outside. She gets up and walks to me. She places her hand on my shoulder and turns me around.

Where as I have feelings for Dana ,I have to accept that I have a weak spot for Stella. We had been through alot together and we were to go through more of those times but I got unlucky. I still have feelings for her but they subside every time I land my eyes on Dana.

Her hands travel to the back of my neck and pulls my head towards hers. My lips land on hers and I give in kissing her but there is no emotion to it. It's as plain as day.

And it feels wrong. It feels very wrong. I pull away and ask her to leave again.
"We can start over,Christian. I can be your wife. Am ready now. To except everything for what it is."
"I said get out!"I shout.
"You think she will stay when she finds out the truth about you. She won't. She is pathetic and so are you. Am the only woman who can accept you for who you are. "
"Shut up!"I shout as my anger builds up inside me. My roll into tight fists. I am trying to contain myself to avoid doing things I will later regret.
"Get out!"I whisper to her. She places her hand on my cheek stroking it with her thumb. I keep my eyes closed. I don't want to look at her. I am supposed to heal my wounds but how will they heal if I keep reminding myself of the past. Living in it.

She walks away and the next thing I hear I'd the door slam.

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