Christian
I am sorry Christian. I am sorry. I just can't be with you. I can't handle it. I can't live with the fact that...the fact that ...the fact that ....you are....I see her walk away. She doesn't look back. She doesn't look like she is gonna change her mind. And when she is almost disappearing, my eyes force themselves open. I don't want to see her leave. Not her to.
I feel a tear flow down the side of my head. Not because of the strong headache I am having. But because of the fear I have in me. The fear of something that might happen. Of something that might be happening.
For a while I stare at the ceiling wondering, how life could be so cruel to me. Not that I didn't know it. But because ever since she came around she keeps making me think of how unlucky I am.
Not that I didn't know. I just didn't realise how bad it was till she came around. I get out bed and stand by the window frame looking at the flower garden in the backyard.
I know where I am. This is William's house. How did I even get here?I should leave.
"Good morning. "I don't want to look at him. He is going to reprimand me like the rest of them."Here. "he hands me a glass of water and morphine. My head really is hurting. One won't do. He pulls out another pill of morphine.
"Two?"
I get them and take them.The effect is so soon.
"Zayn will be here soon with clothes."
"How did I get here?"I ask keeping my eyes off him. I don't want to see whatever emotion is in them."Well, I called you and your P.A Dana picked up your phone. "
At the mention of Dana's name my heart starts to beat rapidly.
"She said she needed help getting you home. So I dropped by and here you are. Coffee?"
He says pushing the cup towards my face.He knows how much I love coffee in the morning. I get it from his hand, looking at his face for the first time. He is not reprimanding me, he is not judging me. He is welcoming me.
I look away taking a sip of my coffee. It is not as good as Dana's but I will take it.He stands across me looking at the garden. There is a silence in the room. But it's comfortable. There is no tension.
"I like her. "he says his gaze travelling to me.
"Dana. She is a good choice. "I want to tell him how I think the same. Not think but know but admitting to it might just not be what am looking for right now. So I just look back at the rose bush I have been looking at.
Her lips. Ever that red. Ever so tempting.
"I heard Stella came by the office yesterday. "I don't want to talk about her. I know he is gonna push. I feel it.
"Chris, you have been different since.."
"Am fine! Am fine. "I cut him off knowing where this is going.I don't want to go there. I don't want to talk about it because that one question is gonna come up and I am not ready to tell him the saddening reality. The news that shuttered me.
He sighs and runs a hand through his already shuffled hair. I know mine is worse. The silence is back. But he breaks it.
"Chris, I know we are not in best of terms. But you should know that I got your back. I am here for you. "he says keeping his eyes on the coffee cup.I know I can count on him. He has always been there. And it scares me. Because i wonder what happens after I tell him. I know he won't leave but the way he looks at me will change. It will totally change. I don't want that pity from him.
But I do want to tell him. His eyes lift to mine and for a moment we just stare at each other. His my brother. He has been one of the strongest pillars of my life. I can trust him. I can tell him right. Right.
"I.." but am cut off by the knock on the door and Zayn's head appears by the door. The confidence I was gonna use to tell William goes flying out the room. How great.
"Hey. I got you clothes. "he says showing me the maroon suit. I look back at William who is currently looking out the window. Probably disturbed by the intrusion.
I grab the suit and get ready for work.
YOU ARE READING
The only one for me
Romantizm"Is it true? She pushes her hand out holding the red file right infront of my face. I can see the tears forming in her eyes. I can't speak. I can't say a thing. My eyes are pinned on the file and somehow I know what lies inside. The truth. The tr...