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Liquid Courage (10)

The tension in the air is so thick that you'll need a whole butcher knife to cut it.

Getting pinned to the wall is getting a little repetitive, and renjun has had enough of that. He elbowed jeno in the stomach and stormed out of the dorm.

"if they aren't going to fucking be mature, I'm not going to talk to them." renjun muttered between his breath as he walked to the convenience store.

He doesn't understand why they are acting this way. There's no reason for them to get mad at them. It wasn't like he was leaving them forever—he just needed a little space.

"For fuck sakes, they could just go to each other. It's not like they're dating me, so I don't have to feel bad."

He pulled out his phone to let his manager know where he is, just in case something happened to him.

Renjun spotted the alcohol and bought six bottles of suju, and grabbed two bags of chips along the way to the counter. He bought them, and went to his hyungs' dorm because they won't be at there till later.

It hurt renjun that dreamies would throw away years of friendship because he was honest with them. Loosing feelings is the best thing that ever happened to him. Imagine if he was still heads over heels for them—he would be hurting much more.

He lost feelings right?

But he can't help but picture what would've happened if they liked him back.

Why does that imagery make him happy?

He just wants to be happy without them. Why is that so hard?

He picked up a bottle and started chugging it down hoping it would stop his thoughts.

"if it were the old times, mark would definitely scold me right now." renjun said giggling not noticing a tear fall down his face.

Not really liking his thoughts, he chugged another bottle.

"jaemin and jeno would've stopped me if they saw me like this." renjun chuckled knowing how protective they were of him.

After he finished that one, he grabbed another bottle.

He checked his phone and it says 9pm. Two more hours till his hyungs arrive.

"it would be so much fun if donghyuck were here with me." renjun laughed. If anyone saw him at this state, they would think he's crazy.

One more bottle wouldnt hurt.

"chenle and jisung are perfect for each other. They're also perfect for the rest, and I'm jealous."

"Was I not good enough to be loved by at least one of them?"

He grabbed his phone and started recording.

He started laughing. "fuck all of you, fuck Mark, fuck donghyuck, fuck jeno, fuck jaemin, fuck chenle, fuck jisung."

The tears are falling down at his face. "but especially fuck renjun! It's all his fault. I hate him so much! Such a fucking bitch and his fucking dumb feelings. Why can't he be better?? Why can't he be beautiful?! Why is he so unattractive? Why can't he change his personality??"

"why does he still like these dumb idiots?"

Then he hysterically laughed his ass off. "this renjun guy is hilarious. His life is hilarious. I can't believe he came all the way to Korea to have his heart broken multiple times."

He stopped the recording, sent it to the group chat, and continued sobbing.

Bottle after bottle, he finally finished the last bottle.

"fuck I still like them." he slurred his words.

Half an hour after, he heard keys jingling outside.

"Rennie?"

"renjun?"

"Jun?"

He heard.

"oh hey guys." renjun giggled.

"yah, he's been drinking." taeil pointed out.

"Jun, tell me what's wrong." doyoung said softly.

"you'll have to find out yourself." renjun said as he threw his phone at doyoung.

They went through his phone and saw the video. It wasn't a surprise to them that the dreamies were the cause of this mess.

It angered them at they hurt renjun again.

"what the fuck. I thought they were getting better." kun said.

"haha I heard the word fuck so many times today." renjun laughed.