A LOVE STORY OR NOT PART 2

#80

It had been a few days since Shehnaaz had told him about the hidden reports and although, he wasn't cold but he wasn't talking to her either.

Sidharth was just the way he was earlier. He was feeding her, helping her get up, pecking her forehead time and again, just usual stuff.

But he wasn't talking to her and it was because of the fact that he didn't know how to speak.

He couldn't utter even a single word without crying. And he really didn't want to cry in front of her, making her fall weak.

Today was her baby shower and it had been 27 weeks. The house was filled with people and there was no quite corner.

Well, except their room, there were people everywhere. Sidharth made sure to let her have as much rest as possible.

There was a havan starting at 12 and then a small party in the evening.

Sidharth made sure to not to get her disturbed until it was absolutely necessary for her to wake up.

After meeting the relatives, the extended families, Sidharth made his way towards their room.

Shehnaaz was snoring softly, sleeping with an open mouth and for the first time since that day, he smiled.

She was not ready for the havan yet because he didn't wake her up. He knew that she might have been exhausted past few days.

God knows, for how long she must have cried everyday and then the reports. According to them, she was going through a pain similar yo the labour pain.

He sighed and pulled the duvet over her, completely covering her. It wasn't that cold, but she did feel it.

He kissed her forehead and caressed her head. God, he couldn't even look at her without crying.

A tear left his eye and then another. How could he live without her? Was it possible for him to live his life in a world where Shehnaaz didn't exist?

Can he take breaths knowing that she wasn't; could his heart beat knowing that her's wasn't?

How could he live without his soul?

Ye sirf Kehne ki baat nhi hai ki Sidharth ki jaan basti hai Shehnaaz mein!

Shehnaaz woke up after some time and smiled softly seeing Sidharth beside her, holding her hand firmly.

He was lost and she became upset  looking at him, knowing fully that he was thinking about that day's events.

She didn't want to leave him. Only she knows how much it hurts to leave the people you love behind.

Sidharth atleast had 5 years with her, but what about their daughter, what about Pari?

She might not be able to spend even 5 seconds with their daughter and it hurt her. She wouldn't be able to feed her or cradle her little body.

She would never hold her hand when she walks, she would never be able to sing to her with Pari in her arms.

She was a mother who might never hold her child and this was slowly killing her from inside.

And then Sidharth, she loved him, loved him more than anything, even more than herself and she was giving him so much pain.

The thought of her being the reason for his inner struggles and for the torture he is currently going through, was enough for her to hate herself and she did!

Sidharth noticed an intense gaze on himself and immediately looked down towards her lying body.

She was looking at him with love and regret and longing as well. He said nothing, he wanted to, but he couldn't.