You smile,I smile
You cry, I cry harder
You jump off a bridge, I'll go to your funeral
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6 things we say in school:
1: I'm tired
2: I'm cold
3:I'm hungry
4: I don't get it
5: what time is it
6: I want to go home
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If you fall, I'll be there
~ floor
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Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
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A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife
decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them
a clue and let them guess. The dad said, "Well it's what Mommy calls me
sometimes." The little girl screamed to her brother, "Don't eat it. Its an asshole!
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A guy goes to see his doctor, and the doctor says, "Well, I'm afraid you
have six weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh damn, well what
should I do doctor?" The doctor tells him, "You should take a
mud bath once a day for the next six weeks," and the guy asks,
"Why? Is that supposed to help?" and the doctor says, "No, but it'll get you
used to being in the ground."
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Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous,
and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
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Your momma Is so fat,I took a picture of her last Christmas,
and it's still printing
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A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, "Dad, how many
kinds of boobs are there?" The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, a
woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman's breasts are like
melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice,
hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions." "Onions?" the son asks.
"Yes.You see them and they make you cry."This infuriated his wife and daughter.
The daughter asks, "Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?"
The mother smiles and says, "Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also.
In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s,
it's like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it's like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?" the daughter asks. "Yes, dead from the root up and
the balls are just for decoration."
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A/n
Just a quick one for you guys!
Sorry if some were inappropriate I couldn't help myself...
Sorry I haven't updated on time but I had to go get my iPad repaired so...
Please leave a comment on what you want me to do next.... I'm thinking about your momma jokes?
Love you Xx
