The Feel of Water

Thirty-Two - Just Don't Hurt Me

A/N: This part includes sexual content that may not be appropriate for younger readers. Also, listen to this song. It's amazing.

I watch with my arms crossed as Sean talks to Jen. I'm too far to hear what they're saying, but I can see their mouths move, and their faces shift. Giving up on deciphering such things, I sigh and turn away, seeing Allison walking through the backdoor with Nick. He leads her to the side by her hand. She doesn't look very happy.

Some football players must have come here right after the game. I don't even know if they won.

Jen passes me but she doesn't seem to notice my presence, or maybe she's simply ignoring it. She slips back through the side door and vanishes into the party. I feel Sean's hand touch my arm, so I turn to him and ask, "What did she say?"

"Nothing," he says. "She told me her mom lives in Rochester with her new husband. She wanted to know why I was asking, but she eventually let it go."

My shoulders drop. "None of this makes any sense. Tammy says it was Jen's mom. Your dad says it was him. And it's not like we can ask him since he got up and left. And you have no idea where he is?"

Sean sighs. "No. He didn't tell my mom either. I wanted to call him, but he left his phone."

"God, this shouldn't be happening."

Sean pulls me against his chest, but I don't think he's trying to comfort me any more than he's trying to comfort himself. "I'm sorry, Sean. I don't know how he could just leave you," I tell him, gazing up. His eyes stay fixated on the ground in front of us.

"He left because he's guilty. I don't know what happened, and I don't know how it could have been him, but it was. He wasn't lying."

"I wish he never told you. We would both be oblivious and you would still have your family intact."

Sean is quiet for a moment before saying, "I just want to get out of here."

"I'll come with you," I offer quickly, "i-if you want."

"Yeah, come on."

He takes my hand and together we walk through the people crowded in the hallway. Eyes glance over to us, and a familiar feeling returns. I look to my hand held safely in his, and I feel untouchable. Sean Donovan is protecting me, and there is nothing anyone can do to make me worry—to make me feel like an object at risk of being snatched up by another. I know he won't let go of me. He won't let anything happen to me; I missed that.

I text the girls that I'm leaving with Sean. I tell them to look out for one another.

He opens the car door for me and lets go of my hand to get in himself. My phone vibrates with a text from Allison.

I've got them.

I text back, I saw you talking to Nick. Everything okay?

She messages, I'll tell you later.

Sean shuts his door, taking my eyes from my phone screen. He takes my hand and briefly kisses the back of it before starting the truck. My chest collapses in on itself. It feels so good, so unbelievably good to be back to things like this.

My eyes linger on his hands as he takes a left, turning the steering wheel. The tension, at least for me, is suffocating. I keep thinking back to the moment he said he loved me outside of Allison's house. Nothing can describe how those words leaving his lips made me feel. I thought about it the entire walk home through the dead, dark streets. My mind couldn't focus on the tragic news he broke, but what I could think about was how he told me he loved me, and I couldn't stop my tear-stained face from smiling.