The Feel of Water

Thirty-Six - The Feel of Water

Sean holds my hand as we walk toward the field. His duffle bag hangs off his shoulder, stuffed with his helmet, cleats, and other gear. People are starting to fill up the stands now, and I know Allison, Becca, and Alisha are in there somewhere. He stops at the bench where a few other guys are hanging out before warmup. His bag drops to the grass and he eyes the other team, but as he does so, his arms come around me. "You'll do great," I assure him. "You always do."

Sean peers down at me and kisses the top of my head. "How can I lose when you're watching? I don't really have a choice, now do I?"

"I really don't need to say this, but if it makes you feel better, I'll still love you even if you don't win."

He rolls his eyes at my joke. "I'll keep that in mind."

"I better go," I say, slipping from his hold. "I don't need your coach kicking me off the field. But I'll be up there somewhere," I motion to the bleachers, "and I'll come find you after."

Sean steals a quick kiss. "For good luck," he says softly.

"As if you need it."

He lets me escape and hurry behind the short, chain-linked fence that keeps the public and players separate. My eyes climb the rows of seated people in front of me, and I recall Allison's text saying that they'll be at the end of a row toward the middle. I make my way through rowdy students until a hand suddenly yanks me down mid-step. Becca's face smiles back at me. "Almost passed us," she says.

I take a breath and straighten up. Allison is sat beside her, watching Nick as he jokes around with his teammates. "Where's Alisha?" I ask.

Becca points to someone a few rows in front of us. I notice Alisha's head of dark hair resting on someone's shoulder—it's Javier. Good. Everything is good for once.

"I saw that kiss," Becca nudges me. "He's totally whipped."

"If he's whipped then I'm something beyond that. I'm so in love with him that my biggest fear is Sean suddenly disappearing. I sit in class and I freak myself out thinking that one day he's just not going to show up. He's just going to vanish."

She eyes me. "Jesus, Dani. Why would you do that to yourself?"

"I don't mean to. It's just my head," I shrug. "He just seems too good to be true."

"Well, he's real, and you deserve every minute with him. Now come on, I want to go to the concession before the game starts." Becca glances to Allison and asks her, "You want anything?"

"No. I'm fine. I'll keep our seats," She says, taking only a couple of seconds to look away from her boyfriend.

Becca and I make our way down the bleachers and along the track. There's a small building with a metal screen slid up, opening to a counter and room of random machines. One for hotdogs. One for popcorn. One for drinks. The list goes on and on. We get in line and she looks over the small menu mounted to the side of the window as the smell of nacho cheese wafts into my face.

"Hey, I'll be right back. I'm going to the bathroom," I tell her.

"Should I get you anything?"

I say, "Something to do with candy," before rushing over to the restrooms. Just as I reach the heavy door labeled 'women,' someone comes up to me.

"Danielle," they say, and I turn to see Jamie's nervous face. My hands drop from the door and I step aside so other people can enter and exit.

"What, Jamie?"

I can't ignore the butterflies in my gut, fluttering relentlessly, making my stomach churn with anxiety.

"Can we talk?" He asks. Something about his lax posture and lack of context is confusing. Why is he trying to talk to me? What about all that has happened the last few weeks signals to him that I would want to see him, let alone talk?