The Feel of Water

Fifteen - May We Sink Quickly

I attend the homecoming game with Becca, Allison, and Alisha. Allison picks everyone up, and we drive to the game, packed in one car like we used to sophomore year. Allison got her license first, and we all felt very cool driving to school on our own. Then Alisha got hers. Then Becca. After the accident, it took me a few months to get back in a car; that's why I started walking to school. Eventually, I got the courage to sit in the backseat, then the passenger seat, but never the driver's seat. But I like walking to school. I can't kill anyone's parents if I walk to school.

We sit together in the stands. Becca and I together and Allison and Alisha one row under us. Becca likes to play with Allion's hair, but Allison gets mad, worried that the oils from Becca's hands with make her hair greasy. Becca plays anyway, ignoring Allison until she gives up and lets her braid. It makes me smile.

The crowd jumps up and screams every few minutes, scaring me. Becca likes to point out how I jump, how my shoulders shoot up like someone is shocking me. "You're so jumpy, Dani," she says, making a French braid, completely unbothered by the noise. "You scare so easily."

"I just want the game to end. I swear to god, it's never-ending. We're going to win; can't the other team just give up? Look-look at the scoreboard. They aren't going to catch up."

Allison looks back, making Becca struggle to keep all her sections of hair sectioned. "If the game ends, then we can't watch them play. Come on, just look at him go," she sighs, gazing down at her beloved Nick.

"I like when they ram into each other," I say. "I like when they get plowed to the ground, but that's about it."

"Okay, sadist," Becca eyes me. "You better not become the female version of Christian Grey or something. Or, you know what, maybe you should. Especially the money part. Then we can go on vacations all the time and party all over the world."

"Sean is the QB," Alisha pipes up, "don't you like watching him? Cheering for him?"

"How can I cheer if I don't know how the game works?"

"Why don't you ask him to teach you?" She says.

Becca snorts. "Please. He's too busy teaching her other things."

Allison looks back again, making Becca groan as she drops a few strands. "Yeah, when can we talk about the whole 'truck bed' thing in detail? I still can't believe you tricked me and went off with him."

"In detail? You guys just want to hear about Sean."

Becca straightens Allion's head and says, "Obviously, Dani. Was he good? I bet he really knows what he's doing."

All three girls look to me. "I mean," I murmur, "it's not like I have anything to compare it to. But, I can't see any other guy doing better."

Becca sighs. "Damn. I knew it. Every guy who's gotten the chance to be all up in my lady bits acted as if it was going to swallow them or something. Like they're scared. Like they're looking at a monster or something."

Allison laughs, catching the attention of the people around us.

"Javier was like that at first. They get better," Alisha adds. "Sometimes you just have to show them. Nothing wrong with a teaching moment."

"You know, some guys like the innocent, pure, untouched thing," Becca says. "I mean, I kinda get it."

"The guy I lost it too was like that," Allison says. "But be careful, Dani. Some of those guys are weird about it."

"Do you think you'll lose it to Sean?" Alisha asks.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe. If he doesn't move on."