Never Her

Fourteen

"What the fuck were all the stunts you pulled today, Olivia?" Elliot hissed as he stalked towards her. She turned on her heel and went into the kitchen trying to avoid confrontation. 

He followed closely behind her and she stopped at the counter and braced herself against it. "First you ship my kids off and then you go to the precinct to go see your new boy toy?" He asks sharply. Her head hung low as she took deep breaths trying to prepare herself for the fight she knew she was coming. 

"I didn't ship them off, El. Kathy came to pick them up when you were at the store." She sighed as her head still hung down between her shoulders. 

Elliot grabbed her hair and pulled her backwards until her face was angled towards him. "You will look at me when I speak to you." He growled in her face. She cried out in pain and she leaned back to try and lessen the strain on her head as held tightly onto her hair. 

"I'm sorry," She squeaked holding her eyes shut tightly. He let go of her hair and she turns all the way to face him. 

"What did you tell Kathy?" He asks crossing the room to grab a beer from the fridge. He took a bottle opener and popped off the bottle cap. He took it between his fingers and flicked it at her. It hit her in the side of the face then dropped to the ground. 

She brushed her fingers over where the cap had hit her in the face, "Nothing. She just came to get the kids." Olivia kept her eyes trained on the ground and tried to remain calm. She wanted to keep things as calm as possible. She didn't have any fight in her at the time. She felt completely drained and she had no idea what she was even fighting for anymore. 

"Don't fucking lie to me!" He roared slamming his hands down on the counter. "I know you lied to them! You lied to my kids and you lied to her! You are such a fucking liar, Olivia!". She sat down on the chair and tears started filling her eyes. She was just so tired.

"I didn't, Elliot. I swear. I didn't talk to the kids at all." She looked over at Elliot as the tears started streaming down her face. She felt a hiccup coming and it made the tears start falling more. 

He stared at her crying and moved closer to her laughing, "You cry so much. You are so pathetic, Olivia. You think you can sit here and ruin my life and my relationship with my kids and I won't be mad?" He asks pushing her off the stool until she is standing in front of him. "Then to get away from your consequences you decide to run away?" He yells in her face. 

"You knew I was going, Elliot. I didn't run away. And what did you say to my squad to make them think I was having a mental breakdown?" She questions him feeling slightly more bold than she felt a few seconds prior. 

He reached up to touch her and she jerks her face away from him. "What do you mean, Liv? You are having a mental breakdown. Have you not seen some of your insane actions lately? You are a lunatic." He says to her in the utmost condesending tone. 

Olivia felt a surge of adrenaline go through her body and anger filled her veins. "My actions? My actions?" She screamed stepping forward so they were officially chest to chest. "You are the one who has lost your fucking mind, Elliot!". She could see his eyes get a shade darker. 

"I've lost it? You haven't even seen lost it!" He stomped away and she let out a relieved sigh. She slumped onto the stool and put her head down in her hands. Olivia was taking deep breaths and was thankful that she got out of the argument relatively unscathed. 

She was only sitting there for a few moments before she heard the beeping of their extra gun safe in the office. Fear filled her body and she jumped off the stool. Completely forgetting about the healing wound on her leg, she dashed towards the office in the hallway. Olivia was terrified that there was going to be a repeat of the night he shot Jenna. 

As she came around the corner, she seen Elliot examining the gun in his hand and she stopped short in the doorway. 

He looked up at her with a crazed look in his eyes. "Is this what you want, Liv? You said I'm losing my mind. How about I just blow my brains out right here in front of you?" He yells waving the gun around. 

Elliot turned and took a big swig out of the bourbon he had left out from the night before. "I'm sorry, El. This is all my fault." She walked towards him and put her hands on his arm. He looked over towards her and his face softened as he looked down at her. He placed the gun down and turned towards her. 

She put her hands on his face trying to get him to calm down. He grasped her wrists and she tensed because she thought he was going to hurt her. 

"Why do you do this to me, Olivia? Why do you purposely try to make me angry to hurt you?" He asked leaning his forehead against hers. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She whispers as she pulls him closer to her. Olivia felt her hot tears still falling and dropping onto her lips. She leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. This was the first time in days that the touch between the couple wasn't a volatile touch.

Olivia guided him out of office and down to the living room. He sat down on the couch and he pulled her down with him. She settled onto his lap with her knees on either side of his legs. Her arms snacked around his abdomen and tucked her face in his neck. 

His hands stroked up and down her back as she was sobbing. "I'm sorry," she cried. Olivia felt that everything that had happened was her fault. Maybe if she was a better wife, they wouldn't be this way. Maybe she worked too much. Maybe if she would have been able to give him a baby. If she wouldn't have hesitated to grab her gun to stop Jenna. If she had just done better. She was driving Elliot to treat her like this. She was driving him to be suicidal. 

"Stop making me do this, Liv. Stop making me get so angry," he whispered as she cried and she kept apologizing to him as she cried. 

They stayed that way for a long time as Olivia calmed down. She became so exhausted from crying and the heaviness of the day. He maneuvered her until she was laying down on the couch and he laid down behind her. She tucked her head under his chin as he held her tightly to her body. 

He stared down at her and watched as she slowly drifted off to sleep. It was silent until her phone started blaring in her back pocket.