Never Her

Twenty Two

Olivia sat at the hard metal table she had stood on the other side of so many times. They had given her water and anything they could to make her comfortable considering the circumstances. 

"I am sorry for your loss, Detective Benson." The lead officer says sitting across from her. She does nothing but glance up and acknowledge that he was speaking to her. 

"I am Detective Jackson. I am going to be investigating what happened the other night that led to your husband's death." He says folding his hands looking for any signs that she could be offering. 

Olivia rolled her eyes and took a sip of her water. "I'm sorry, Detective. But I have been an officer with the NYPD for over 13 years. I know how this works."

The man laughed and sat back in his chair. He clearly underestimated Olivia Benson. 

"Can you tell me what happened that night?" He asks, pulling out his pen and paper. 

Olivia looked down and took a deep breath. She had never spoken about the abuse to anyone other than Cragen. She had no idea if anyone was going to believe her or not. After all, she tried to keep it a secret the best she could. 

"I got home that night and Elliot was really mad. He accused me of having an affair." She explains with her hands trying to will the tears she had filling her eyes to stay at bay. 

"Were you?" He asks. Olivia looked over at him and furrowed her brow. "Having an affair?" He explained. 

She shook her head with an unamused sigh. "No, I was not having an affair."

Olivia continued her story as the officer listened and took notes. She failed to stop the tears from falling. The first few she angrily wiped away trying to show no weakness to her fellow officer. She finally gave up when she knew that there was no point. They were just going to keep falling. The tears rolled freely down her face, dripping onto her shirt. 

"He was going to kill himself. I knew it. I tried to grab the gun but he was too fast. There was a struggle for the gun. He was too strong. He forced our hands down until the gun was on his head..." Olivia trailed off as she began to sob harder. 

"Then what happened, Detective Benson?" He asked softly as the woman was trying to catch her breath from crying. 

"He pulled the trigger." She buried her head in her hands as the sobs released from her body. "My husband is dead," She cried loudly. Olivia started to cough from the pressure of the sobs. Cragen came into the room and helped her out of the chair. 

"She is done for today, Detective Jackson." He says as he escorts her out of the office and to his car. 

Cragen drove Olivia and himself back to the 1-6. He needed to get some work done but he didn't want to leave her at home by herself. 

She wordlessly sat down on the couch and leaned her head back on the back of the couch. 

The Captain sat down at his desk and began working on all the paperwork that has been left on his desk. He wasn't sitting there for long before he noticed Olivia's head beginning to fall. He offered the woman a sad smile before taking the blanket from under his desk and bringing it over. He slowly slid her body over until her head was resting on the pillow. Her eyes opened slightly and lifted her legs up onto the couch. He covered her with the blanket and flipped the light off. 

Cragen went back over to his desk and flipped on his desk lamp and kept working on his work. Every time a detective came to speak to him, he stepped out of the office. He stood next to Rollins desk talking about one of their active cases when he saw Kathy Stabler walk through the doors. 

He straightened up as he saw her walking directly towards him. "Kathy," He says stepping around the desk approaching the woman and met her halfway. "How are you doing?" He asks quietly. She doesn't answer as she motions towards his office. 

Cragen hesitated before shaking his head and leading her to the interrogation room by his office. "Is there something I can do for you, Kathy?" He asks leaning on the table. 

The blonde paced back and forth in front of him with her arms crossed and tears in her eyes. "I need you to tell me everything." She demands quietly. 

The older man took a deep breath before looking up at her, "I don't know much. I have to stay away from the case. Elliot wasn't acting right recently and that he shot himself that night." 

Kathy stopped moving and turned to stare at him. "Elliot wouldn't, Don. He wouldn't have killed himself!" She exclaims angrily. "I was married to him for over twenty years. He wouldn't do this!". 

Don could see the anger swelling within the woman. He could see all of the emotion running across her face. "Kathy, Elliot wasn't the same since the shooting." He tried to calmly rationalize with her. Elliot had been acting questionably for months. He remembered all of the things Olivia disclosed to him the day Elliot died. He remembered all of the tears Olivia shed on the couch that day. 

"Where is Olivia?" She asks pausing for a second. Kathy hadn't heard from the woman since this all started. She figured that she would have been the first of Olivia's calls. Why didn't she call her?

"Olivia is resting in my office." He says nodding to the glass between his office and the interrogation room. 

"I want to talk to her." Kathy demands, staring through the glass. She wanted to hear from Olivia what happened that night. She needed to know what happened from someone who was there and subsequently the only person who can say what happened. 

Cragen moved to stand next to her. "Kathy, I really don't think that is a good idea right now. Olivia not dealing with it really well. That is why she is napping in my office. How about I have her call you later?" He offered. Cragen knew that she didn't sleep the night before and he didn't want to wake her while she was sleeping. 

Kathy stopped and debated. She knew she needed to take a breath and calm herself before she talked to Olivia. She sighed before agreeing. "If you find out anything, please let me know." Kathy turned and walked out of the room. She would find out what happened because none of it makes sense to her.