Never Her

Nineteen

The next morning, Olivia got up before Elliot would even be awake. She dreaded walking into their bedroom but she had to because that is where all her work clothes.

She walked through their room quietly using her phone flashlight so she didn't have to turn their main light on which would cause Elliot to wake up. She went into their closet and shut the door. She grabbed a blouse and pants and quickly changed.

Olivia snuck back out of the closet and into the bathroom. She usually curled her hair but decided just to brush it and throw it up. Without even touching her makeup, she just went straight to the kitchen.

She filled her coffee cup and thought about how it was going to be going back to work. She hadn't been to work in such a long time and she hoped she could just jump back into the swing of things.

Olivia thought about Nick and the phone call from the day before. She just prayed that he wouldn't say anything to her while she was at work. She wanted to completely immerse herself in work and forget about her life. It was just easier to forget if she was dealing with other peoples cases.

She slipped out of the apartment quietly without a peep from Elliot. She got in the car and took a deep breath to prepare herself for the day. On her way, she blasted some music to get her in the mood for the day. She needed to be prepared for anything she was going to get thrown at her that day.

When she walked into the squad room, Cragen was already waiting for her to bring her into the office. She set her bag down and went in.

As they both sat down, Olivia waited for him to speak. She could tell he was examining the healing bruises on her face. His eyes traced her face from side to side.

"Captain," Olivia started quietly as he opened his mouth to speak. She motioned for him to go ahead first.

"Olivia, I am sorry for what happened in this office the other day. I am very worried about you but now I see," He motioned to her face, "there is more going on."

She wanted to start talking but her throat felt like it was starting to close up and her tears started to well in her eyes. "It's gotten bad, Don. I don't know what to do." She cries.

Olivia leaned forward resting her elbows on her keys as she started to cry harder. This was the first time she was fully going to admit everything that had happened. She wanted to tell him everything from beginning to end because if anybody was going to believe her, it would be her Captain.

Olivia broke down and told him everything. Cragen moved to the chair next to her to let her talk and nodded when it was appropriate.

At the end, she took a shuddering breath. She felt beyond relieved that she had finally let out all of the emotional and physically abuse she had suffered since the shooting of Jenna.

"But, please, Don. Let me work." She begged with tears still in her eyes. He reached over and grasped her hand tightly before nodding.

"I will allow you to work. I know this is hard for you but you need to make sure that you stay objective in your work." He explains to her and she nods along.

Soon, he let her out of the office and she got straight to work. Amaro watched her come out of the office and sat down. They made eye contact and he gave her a small smile. She returned it before getting down to work.

Olivia kept her focus all day long. She was surprised at how well she was able to put aside her personal life.

She stopped working for a minute and went into the breakroom to get a snack from the vending machine. When she turned around, Nick was standing right behind her. She gasped and clutched her chest in fear. "Sorry, Liv. Sorry." He says holding his hands up. When he noticed the new bruises on her face, he felt a sinking feeling in his stomach just hoping those new bruises weren't his fault.