Anorexia p.jm

4

Daily update YAAAAAAY!

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Jimin's pov

I woke up to a knocking on my door.
" Jimin, time for breakfast" yelled Taehyung. "okay" I said. What time is it, 10:30 am! Oh we have the day off to pack for traveling to our concert in Japan tomorrow. But I can't skip breakfast now that I overslept, usually I'd wake up early and tell them I already ate. Now I have to face the consequences.

I walk down the stairs smelling toast, bakon, butter and eggs, everything that involves oil or butter in it, my mind starts automatically counting the calories that might be in that meal.

" Jimin, come and join us" says Jin from the kitchen while setting plates on the table while everyone else already gathered around the table.

" aaaah i really like sleeping in" says Yoongi, " we need to pack our bags today don't forget that" informs Namjoon, yeah i totally forgot about that once i woke up, tomorrow is going to be a big day, we're going to fly to Tokyo, settle in our hotel rooms and get ready for the show in the evening.

"Jimin where are you" says Hoseok waving a hand in front of me " uh umm nothing just thinking about the concert, we're going to see ARMY finally" i say fake excited, a show means a lot of dancing and pretending to be happy in front of millions of fans and I really feel weak lately, this breakfast is an exception to my usual morning routine and I'm thinking of keeping it down really, i need the energy.

Everyone starts eating and i start nipping at my toast, taking tiny bites to keep the members of noticing that I'm not actually eating, scooping small forks of eggs, never touching the bacon though, can't risk all that grease, if I'm keeping this down I need to make sure it's as minimum as possible.

After I finished 'eating' I excuse myself to go to my room and pack, noticing the look Jungkook gave me after looking at my almost full plate.

I start taking out clothes and laying them on my bed, taking out the suitcase that travelled with me to so many countries, I remember when I first got it after I got accepted in BTS and moved to our first dorm. I miss these days, i used to be so happy and lived mindlessly, i ate with no thought in the world, like it was no one's business.

I noticed that I've been stairing at my empty bag for so long and started putting the clothes in the bag. When I'm done I placed the bag beside my door and sat on the bed, I opened my phone and logged into Twitter posting " Ready for Tokyo tomorrow, we're coming!", posted. The post started getting likes as soon as I posted it and fans started commenting and retweeting it, I read some of the comments, ' excited to see you' ' hurry up we're waiting for you' 'I want to see BTS without Jimin, it'd be much better'........ Thats last comment hit hard, even fans think so, I know they'd be better off without me.

I close my eyes and listen to some songs before deciding my room isn't big enough to hold me right now, I need to go for a run. I tell Jungkook I'm going but he tells me to wait because he wants to join me. There goes my chance to clear my mind Jungkook is nice but chatty.

We wear our Fila sneakers and start jogging, since we did that Fila commercial they agve us a lot of their products to advertise. The run was quiet so far but as we got to the park Jungkook asked to stop by the swings, just like I used to do.

" Hyung" he says, this can never be good, " I noticed you've been distant lately" there, I told you, nothing good, " you seem so tired and zoned out whenever I look at you and you don't say much really, just reply to whoever talks to you" I start thinking of what to say when he stops my train of thoughts "you also don't eat too well, you barely finish your plate and excuse yourself" I looka t my hands not knowing what to say "I'm worried about you hyung, all of us are, what's going on, you can telm us anything, I'm all ears", I choose my words carefully " I'm just nervous, we've been working on hard lately without a break and we got many concerts coming up its all so.....overwhelming" " are you sure there's nothing else?" he asks, " When did you grow up all like this" i laugh " I'm sure there's nothing else bothering me" giving him a convincing smile " let's go back to the dorm shall we" he nodds and we go back to running.

Damn that was a close one, is it really this noticeable that I'm not okay, I can't have the members finding out, they'll be disgusted by me, no one can find out, i try to get the thoughts out of my head as I keep on running.
______________________________________ tell me what you think, this story is inspired by my daily struggles , knowing Jimin had suffered from body image issues as well I hope I made something good out of it