Anorexia p.jm

7

Jimin's pov

I woke up sweating and terrified, that sounded so real, I can feel the night air on my face, God how sid my mind go that way, I never thought of breaking my band mates like that and army would be devastated, I know my mind goes there sometimes but I never considered actually committing suicide.

I check the time in my phone, the light hurting my eyes, it's 4:00 am, great, we have a flight in the morning and now I can't sleep, I need some air.

I got t to the roof and plug my headphones, the music is so soothing, Lee Hee's breath starts playing and I take a deep breath watching the stars, last time I was here was in that nightmare, nightmares have a bad effect on me really, they stick to my head and keep repeating for a while.

After I've calmed down a bit I head back downstairs, going to the kitchen and made some coffee, today was supposed to be a good day.

I sip my coffee silently sitting on the couch not wanting to be in my bedroom right now, it's 6:30 am now, the members are going to wake up soon enough.

Jin was the first to wake up then the rest of the boys, I said good morning and washed my cup qnd helped Jin with breakfast.

We all sat down at the table and started eating but my mind was elsewhere, " Jimin, hurry up and eat we'll be on our way to the airport soon" said Namjoon, why didn't I just tell them I had eaten, oh right, I didn't feel like talking, " I just have a headache, didn't sleep well last night" I said "maybe you can catch some sleep in the plane" he said I excused myself and went outside for a walk, everywhere feels tiny I need to see the sky.

I get dizzy after a while and sit on the side walk, a couple of girls come close to me and ask for a picture, it's my hair color, i can be recognized anywhere because of it, they take the picture, wish me luck and leave i smile at them as they walk away excited.

Moments like these are what keeps me going, my phone rings, it's Jin "Jimin where are you we're heading to the airport in 20 minutes!" Jin sys nervously, "I'm not far I'll be right there" I say apologizing and start walking back to the dorm.

I get back to the dorm amd get dressed real quick, grabbing a face mask as we're going to meet a lot of people at the airport and Japan goes casually with face masks.

We get in the car and head to the airport, get in the plane, it's huge, the flight attendants are nice and ask if we need anything, I ask for a blanket and a neck pillow, I'll try to take some rest while we get there, God knows how much I need it.

~Two hours later ~

" hyung, wake up, we're here, Tokyo" I hear Jungkook saying but I really wish I could sleep some more I open my eyes and get up realizing we've landed finally, my eyes hurt, I want to curl up in a ball and disappear.

We walk out of the plane and airpport with paparazzi all over the place taking pictures, we get to our waiting van and leave with a lot of screaming fans behind us.

We get to the hotel and settle in our rooms and I decid to take a shower to wake up, soon they'll take us to the stadium to prepare our make up and for us to warm up.

We leave in two hours and get to the waiting room in the stadium and noonas start working on our make up and hair, a part of being a kpop idol is always having amazing hair and skin due to the care they get.

Another two hours pass and we start warming up before the fans get to the stadium, soon enough they are there and I start feeling unwell, really not the time, my head is spinning and my legs are shaky, this can't happen, I can't let down fans.

The concert starts and the fans are screaming so hard, after five songs we take a break, Jungkook and Taehyung are fooling around and everyone is laughing, the voices are too loud, I sit down to rest my shaking legs and racing heart.

Hoseok walk over to me and asks if I'm okay, I nod and give him a smile, even though I'm breathless I think he believed me.

We continue our songs and some how I made it till the end without collapsing, " Thank you Tokyo, Arigato gosaimasih" Namjoon shouts in the mic and my ears start ringing, suddenly I feel cold sweat covering me and lean on Taehyung. He looks at me confused but I don't say anything, we wave our goodbyes to the fans and walk back stage, right now all my weight is basically on Taehyung and he's dragging me behind.

" Jimin what's wrong you look so pale" says Jungkook "I'm oka..." before I finish my sentence my eyes get blurry then all i see is black.
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I wrote this instead of sleeping it's past midnight in my city , have fun 💙