Blind Trust (MewGulf)

Chapter 17: I can't be with you

POV Mew

Mew was on a blanket in the workshop, checking his phone. Lay down with his head on Mew's stomach was Gulf, taking a quick nap before practice started. Mew looked down at the young man and thought about the night he came drunk to his condo.

Mew had been vulnerable for the first time in a long time in front of someone, and that someone...

Didn't remember it.

Mew didn't know how to feel about that. He was half disappointed half relieved.

Taking a hand to Gulf's hair, he started caressing him. Gulf rustled a little before settling down with a little snore once again.

- Morning P'Mew - Gulf had said coming out of the bedroom to the kitchen, where Mew was preparing breakfast.

- Morning Gulf.

Gulf had entered the kitchen and had sat down in one of the chairs.

- How did I get here? Did you pick me up? - Gulf had looked confused.

- No - Mew had answered - You came by yourself.

Gulf had looked surprised at that, and slightly embarrassed.

- Sorry, na, P'Mew. I didn't mean to disturb you.

- It's ok Nong. I prefer you come to this house when drunk than taking a cab or something in the middle of the night - Mew had stared at Gulf intensively - But next time just phone me to pick you up. I'll take my car and go to you.

- I didn't want to be a burden Phi - Gulf didn't look him in the eye - I was supposed to go home, but somehow I ended up here... - he had suddenly seemed to remember something - Home! I didn't call mom!

Gulf moved to get up, but Mew took his hand.

- I talked to Khun Mae and told her you were staying here - he had explained calmly.

Gulf had seemed a little relieved.

Mew looked at his tired Nong. He really didn't remember anything from the night before? Not their conversation? Nothing?

- Gulf - Mew had started saying - Do you... remember something?

- Not really - Gulf had said sheepishly - When I drink I usually forget things. Why? Did I do something yesterday? Did I offend you somehow?

Mew looked at Gulf's anxious face. He didn't remember. Mew felt kind of empty at that thought.

- You didn't do anything Nong. Pretty much fell asleep when I put you on the bed.

Gulf inability to remember their little conversation that night, made Mew feel a little restless. But at the same time, he felt relieved. He wasn't ready to deal with the consequences of what he said.

Filming the first part of episode 6 had been a little eye-opening to him.

"I can fall in love or flirt with anyone. It's my life. You have no right to stop me. You don't own me"

Somehow, Type's words really got to him. In their actual status, Mew had no right to do nothing regarding Gulf's life. He could get jealous, or possessive, but he couldn't do a thing about it.

Gulf said he wanted to be with him, but Mew didn't think he was being serious.

I mean... how serious a 21 year old kid can be?

Gulf was starting his life and his career. He had so much to live and experiment before settling down. Mew, on the other hand, was bored with excitement already. He wanted stability. He wanted someone to talk when he was feeling down. Someone to share his victories with. Someone that loved him like no one else.