𝔼𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕖 𝕎𝕙𝕒𝕥? [ON HOLD]

67

I whimpered into my brothers shirt as I finished retelling my story. His face had tears streaming down them, twisted both in worry, and shock. It was as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. And also couldn't decide what to feel.

"Lily? Are you sure you didn't mean to hurt him?" I froze, and turned my head up. Surprised that out of everything he wanted to discuss that. I let go of him and I see panic flare in his eyes. "Wait-... that-..... that's not what I meant. That came out wrong.."

I frowned.

"What I meant to say was, if you didn't have control.. why'd he get so angry?" I hummed at that, noticing it was a completely new question.

"I'm not entirely sure myself, I guess he just had it in his mind that normal people aren't supposed to walk around with giant scars..." I sighed. "Even though they're completely normal to have.."

I see Eijiro contemplate this, before nodding and wiping his eyes. "Oh look at that... I've been impaled." He chuckles.

I laughed, "So making Frozen references are we now?" I shake my head with a small smile that was reserved for only four people. I sighed.

I back away from my brother, giving him space. "Since then I guess I've just been questioning my worth. Wether or not I actually deserve to be a hero. I mean...." I pause, taking in a shaky breath.

"I hurt my best friend Eijiro. I betrayed his trust. Not only that but when he was announced dead..." I gulped.

"I didn't cry. Not a single tear." I watch as he takes that into his notes. Before speaking in a soft tone.

"Well... sometimes the reaction to a death is not to cry. It's just certain people, those who have lost the most don't cry when they lose something they knew was going to be lost. Maybe you... just kinda knew it would happen?"

"That didn't stop the pain though." I countered. "Just because I didn't cry doesn't mean it hurt any less. He was someone I grew up with, even though he was a bit older than me, I trusted him, like he did with me. I broke that. It was my fault he turned evil. My fault he hurt people."

I started to go back into a panic attack, "It's my fault people cried when they thought he was dead. It's my fault he hates me. I didn't even know he was alive until he attacked me! Gods damnit!" I cried. "I should have looked for him! I-... I-... I should have l-looked..."

I hear a click and the sound of a door opening. I follow the sound with my eyes and see Katsuki looking outside of his door, right at me. Shock and anger were written all over his face.

"Babe? How long have you been standing there?" I asked him quietly.

"Long enough to know that you were talking about something fucking terrible by the looks of it." He says before his eyes flickered to Eijiro. "What the fuck happened?" He asked his friend.

Eijiro rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "Well your not gonna like it.." He started before his voice died in his throat.

"What ever it is, I'm not gonna like it cause she's crying for gods sake!" He yelled at the boy. "Did you make her cry?!" I quickly shook my head no. After that we traveled into Katsuki's room, somewhere none of our class had gone yet, and told him everything.

From me self harming back in the hospital, down to the last points of the conversation that I had been having earlier with Eijiro.

"I don't lie when I say cheesy shit like that. But I'm the most disturbed by the fact that you were looking at a fabric cutter like it was a plushie." He says before flicking me on the forehead. He yawns. "You don't play with sharp things. Didn't your old men tell you something like that?"

I give him the middle finger.

"That's a serious subject and I'm not particularly fond that you are trying to make a joke out of it." I said firmly while flicking his nose.

"Hey- Ow! That hurt you bitch!" He whines.

"You don't make jokes out of serious subjects." I admonished him. "If someone decided to take action on your words you would be charged for instigating a death." I say seriously.

"She's.. right.. now, shall we go to bed and return talking to this later? I'm half asleep and we have school tomorrow." Eijiro suggested.

"Dry eye you're staying with me." I scoffed.

"Like you can make me do anything! I do what I want." I said in the meanest tone possible.

"Alright no cuddles for the little caterpillar." Katsuki said to tease me.

"What? It's a package deal? Umm... can I change my answer?" I saw Eijiro roll his eyes with a smile and leave the room, closing the door behind him.

"What? I don't hear you.." Katsuki smirked. "Must be a ghost talking to me." I whined.

"Noooooooooo I'm hereeeeeeee love meeeee..." I squealed before rolling onto him. He grunted and groaned like he had run out of air. "The fuck... your heavy!" I gasped.

"That was a little mean.." I frowned. He just rolled his eyes.

"At least it's the truth and I'm not telling you lie to make you feel better.." He said bluntly.

"Nooooo you're supposed to make me feel better! And didn't your mother teach you never to insult a woman's weight?" I throw his words back at him. I hear him sigh.

"Fuck you."

"You could sure try but I bet you would be dead before anything even happened." I smirked, watching his eyes go wide. "Don't think I didn't see how you looked at my breathing tube you nasty." I hit his head.

"OW! You bitch... that actually hurt.."

"What? Physically or ego wise?" I asked him, not relenting on my boyfriend now that he knew everything.

"Shut up."

"No."

"Shut up."

"No."

"Shut up!"

"No."

"I'm seriously warning you. You are on thin ice. Shut up."

"No~," I coo. Chuckling when his eyebrows furrow. He gives a 'tch' before he pulls me close to his chest, spooning me. It was now my turn to frown.

"Kat?" I asked softly, terrified of the answer. I hear a hum from him to acknowledge that he heard me. "Do you like me out of pity?" I feel him tense the fuck up real fast.

"Fuck no. I have nothing to gain from that." He says firmly. "That pyromaniac doesn't know me. He doesn't know what the fuck I feel, and can't tell me what the hell to do." I hum.

"... I still love you." I say before pecking his lips. I see his eyes glint before he's smashing his lips back onto mine.

"You're such a tease." He says in between kisses. I groan.

"I don't mean to be..!" I whined as he grabbed my hip. I tense again before realizing he just wanted more control, which I was fine with for the most part.

Our kisses start getting slower, while our breathing was ragged. Eventually Katsuki stopped but unfortunately didn't pull away, he still had his eyes closed so he didn't see my face when the position we were in started getting a bit uncomfy. He rolled off of me and softly smiled, keeping his eyes closed as he pulled me into his chest again.

He looked so peaceful and content. Like he was going to sleep for a hundred years and was happy about it.

"I love you too.."