nineteen

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Calla

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Calla

I study myself in the full-length mirror as the nervous flutter that's been swirling in my stomach since last night stirs again. I don't know why I'm nervous – it's not like I'm getting ready for a date to some fancy restaurant; I don't need to worry about my clothes being too upscale for a place like Salt & Brick because we're not going to a restaurant. We're going on a picnic-like adventure. Only, instead of driving to a local park and walking around, we're dirt biking there. I'm dressed in my usual motocross attire: jersey, pants, chest protector, steel-toed boots, elbow pads, knee pads, and neck brace. My backpack rests on the couch, filled with the sandwiches I made earlier and the drinks I packed. The helmet, goggles, and gloves are outside with my dirt bike.

As I'm staring at my reflection, my hair tied back and my makeup is done so it looks natural, I can't help but chuckle to myself. Laurel would find what Maddox and I have planned for our first date to be unsophisticated. She's definitely the kind of girl that finds a split dress to be more suitable for a first date. She'd want me to make a good impression and make sure I showed off my breasts. Personally, I think I look good in my gear. Desirable. Badass.

I shiver as déjà vu washes over me. I've never lived this first-date moment before, but I have already been riding with Maddox. And I think it's fair to say, when I compare that day with today, that I know him better.

At least, I think I do.

I flatten the front of my jersey, trying to calm my nerves. I'm officially Maddox's girlfriend. Even the thought is enough to make me blush profusely – but for an entirely different reason than most people would think. I had thought that having a boyfriend would make me feel like a different person. Instead, I still feel like the same old Calla. I still feel like myself. The only thing that's different is that I get to share my experiences and emotions with someone who shares a mutual feeling.

A sharp knock sounds on the door, ending my opportunity to continue to stress over my appearance.

My body is tense with anticipation as I grab the backpack from the couch and sling it over my shoulders and then head to the door. I take a deep breath and open it.

The sight of Maddox at the bottom of the steps to my trailer, in his riding attire and typical backwards ballcap, with his soft curls brushing his powerful shoulders, makes my blood hot with anticipation. I can't believe I get to call this man my boyfriend. This innocent man that's been dragged into a game he never requested to play. This man who, despite all the odds against him, has a gentle soul and a beautiful heart. Looking down upon Maddox, I find it hard to believe that he's twenty-two and –

A thought suddenly occurs to me. I don't know how old Maddox actually is. I know there's a two-year difference between us, but he could still be twenty-one – his birthday might be in September like mine or even later in the year.

"When's your birthday?" I ask.

The random question doesn't seem to faze Maddox – I think he's used to my randomness and abruptness. With a ghost of a smile on his lips, he removes his hat and runs a hand through his hair. "October twentieth," he replies. "I won't be twenty-two until then." He puts his hat back on. "When's your birthday?"

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