mcyt +friends oneshots

it's alright///02 >

///this is one of the first fics i've done with
a pov change so that's neato ig but if
it seems choppy or somethin tell
me & give me feed back, i'm
always looking to better
my writing :)\\\

-it's alright///krii7y
chapt. 02/02

         the feeling of his fists & feet spread over my body like a rash, i can't make it stop. usually this doesn't happen; my meds have been thankfully been working for 8 months now & i've only had four flashbacks, five counting now, the best it's ever been but right now, reliving every single punch & kick my dad did to me, i can't focus on anything my body is shaking- vibrating to much, my hands are in my hair pulling, & i can't think of anything but the fear that's charging through my body. my damb mind is circling around the thought that you have to go, you have to leave, he's hitting you right now & you have to leave, you're in danger, danger, danger, danger-

         so here i am, laying under our bed having one of the worst flashbacks i've had in years & that's when i hear it; footsteps. it's like i'm back in my childhood home again, the horrible fear that racked my body when i heard those heavy, stomping footsteps up the stairs to my bedroom, & i know somewhere deep in my mind that it's not actually my dad but reality has shifted & now i can smell the alcohol & cigarettes, now when i feel the floor it's the same carpet that was in my old bedroom, & now it's like i'm younger again. i hear the door open, it slowly creaking, my body freezes & i don't breath. i hear a voice & my brain automatically makes me remember his voice & his yelling, his rib breaking kicks & i'm shaking to hard to move.

///p.o.v- jaren\\\

         i've been cooking us dinner & waiting for john to come down & help me but when i finish up & he's not down yet i shake my head smiling to myself a little,

         "the damb basterd fell alseep." i chuckle knowing he'll be cranky & half alseep when i wake him up. i set up our dinner table then walk up to our bedroom.

         i open the door but i stop when our bed is empty, i step out a little to check if the bathroom is closed but i raise an eyebrow when i see it open & in fact empty. i walk back into the bedroom & that's when i hear fast & quiet breathing & i see something- what i think is person under the bed.

         i walk to the right side & lay down on my side to see better, my heart is beating so hard from worry it might explode, my eyes grow with surprise & concern when i see john, he is on a extremely tight fetal position, shaking, almost vibrating violently, & crying. i move closer to him just in arms reach & start to talk very quietly, mostly reassurance that he's okay & no one will hurt him.

         after awhile he stretches out a little & i meet his gaze though he quickly looks away, i continue my reassurance but stop & place a hand close but still not touching his face,

         "can i?" i ask quietly, he nods his head a little & i smile as i caress his face gently, still though telling him everything is going to be alright. once i can tell he's calmed down enough i ask,

         "do you want to get out from under the bed now?" i ask as gently as possible, he bites his lip & looks away from me for a moment, like he's going through the pros & cons, how safe he would be if he choose to leave. eventually with encouragement from me, the pros outweigh the cons & he gets out & quickly goes into a hug, i rub his back & start to reassure him,

         "s-sorry about that.." he says against my shoulder just barely loud enough for me to hear, i shake my head,

         "there's nothing to be sorry about okay?" i say & he nods his head gently, "i know it's hard but this is not your fault. now let's get some food in ourselves & watch a movie yeah?" i ask as i start to the door his hand in mine, he shrugs his shoulders & follows me to the kitchen table. we sit down & start to eat. even though john's a little more quiet then normal it was still a nice dinner.

///p.o.v- john\\\

         i now crazy, but i still, even though i know it's only jaren here in the home with me & he would never- never in his life do anything to hurt me, my brain is still in danger mode & i'm still waiting for a hit or a kick, my body is still a little to tense, it's still a little hard to breath, & i have to forcefully stop myself from flinching at every sound.

         when we are both done jaren gets up to put the dishes in the sink & i get up to choose a movie but a loud sound of a plate breaking stops me in my tracks & i hit the floor, hands over my ears, bracing my body for the kick & yelling that will surely happen, even though i didn't drop the plate, but when nothing does & the only sound i hear is soft footstep coming towards me i'm confused but still expecting a violent response i flinch & move away but then i hear, not an angry gruff voice but a soft & gentle voice with a slight canadian accent & i release a bit of the tension in my body. i try to calm my mind repeating it's only jaren in here, i'm safe & try to listen to his reassuring words, repeating it's not real in my mind untill i'm calm. when the fear has mostly left jaren helps me up & we hug, i have fist fulls of his shirt, he rubs my back the way he always does, my head in the crook of his neck, his lips gently kissing the side of my head, & everything is so similar, so calm,

         "sorry about the plate." he whispers against my head, muffled, & i shake my head a little,

         "no, those were cheap & i'm still not 100% right now, it's not your fault." i say into his shoulder quietly & he nods his head,

         "do you want to skip the movie & just cuddle?" he asks & i nod, he holds my hand & we walk up the stairs into the bedroom, we end up embracing each other, my head on his chest listening to his heart beat.

         in his arms i've never felt more safe, never more calm. worries about my past are out the window & all i have to focus on is him, my honeybee.

         even though it was early, around 8pm, we end up sleeping untill 9am when jaren eventually wakes me up with a couple of kisses, i smile against his warm soft lips & kiss back,

         "i love you." i whisper still kissing him, he giggles a little,

         "i love you too," he says & kisses me again but move back so he look at me me better, "do you feel better?" he asks quietly, i nod my head a little & he smiles wide, i chuckle,

         "sleeping always has helped," i kiss his nose then continue, "& being around you difently makes everything easier." i say & he blushes a little, i think for a moment about this, about us then add, "i don't even want to think about where i would be without you.." i whisper then clear my throat & look anywhere but him. he waits moment then gently places a hand under my chin & turns my head so i'm facing him,

         "then don't. i'd like to think this, this right here, you & me were destined to be, that this was fate." he pauses & laughs at himself a little, "i know it might be sound stupid but...i really think we were made to be. so, let's forget about the what ifs, let's focus on the now, & right now i'm hungry, how does avocado toast sound?" he asks raising an eyebrow, i laugh & nod my head,

         "yeah, yeah that sounds nice." i say & he gets up excitedly & pulls me up with him, i allow it with a groan of fake annoyance, he responds only with his signature loud laugh that is music to my ears.

         maybe i don't believe in fate or soulmates or anything like that but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that what me & jaren have is different, is unique. this, the connection & understanding we have for each other is like no other & i thank whatever is out there that i found him & maybe i shouldn't think of the what ifs but it makes me value this, & value him some how even more because i do.

///lowercase intentional\\\
///words- 1477\\\