///i had no inspo for this
so thank tumblr & all
the starters i looked
at before i found
this one lol\\\
-be okay///krii7y
chapt. 01/01
"i'm a monster!" i yell pacing back & forth in our bedroom, the memory of what i did- almost did repeats in my mind. i pace faster as it continues but i feel a hand on my arm & watch as jaren step in front of me, i meet his eyes but look away & shake his hand off of me when the memory of the fear on his face flashes in my mind like a warning sign.
"no, no you're not." he says seriously, he steps towards me but i take a step back, i don't want to hurt him anymore then i have already. he shakes his head, "john." he states & i know he wants me to look at him but i can't stomach it. "you didn't hurt me, i'm fine. i swear. you just scared me a little is all." he says & i shake my head. how can he say that like it's nothing? he feared me- was terrified of me. i take another step back. he sighs, "i'm fine john. look at me," i shake my head, "look at me." he says it so seriously it catches me off guard & i look at him wide eyed, when i do he whispers, "i'm okay." but i just sigh,
"you don't get it." i whisper back looking at the wall behind him.
i've been scared most of my life of what a normal person wouldn't be scared of, parents, family members, teachers, friends- everyone, i've really never felt comfort when someone's near me & i've always- since i was a kid thought i'd never make someone that scared of me- especially partners, i've broken that rule. i made jaren; one of the first people i let into my life- into my heart, feel what i never wanted anyone to feel towards me: fear. he sighs softly,
"then explain it to me." he says. he holds out his hand & my fist instinct is to grab it but i hold back & he sighs again, "you will not hurt me, i trust you completely, 100%." he states & i close my eyes for a moment trying to believe him then without thinking about it i grab his hand, i can't just not touch him for the rest of my life & i know he needs this. he leads me to our bed & we sit down inches apart. i turn to him,
"i always told myself i'd make sure no one would be fear me. i know how that feeling- being terrified of someone & i-it's not enjoyable to say the least but when i lost temper at you; yelled at you & the fear i saw in our eyes, it fucking destroyed me. i know you think i'm over reacting but.....i did the one thing i never wanted to do, didn't think i'd ever do." he rests his head on my shoulder & i sigh a little,
"even though you lost your temper i trusted you. i knew no matter how mad you got at me you'd never hurt me, just how i'd never, in a million years hurt you. i don't think i've ever seen you lose your temper now that i think about it, it caught me off guard." he rubs my back a little & continues, "i love you & i trust you with my life." he says & i sigh,
"i love you too & i'm so sorry i made you feel scared of me. i just....don't know know how i got so lucky- finding you, i don't know what i did to deserve this, if i do deserve this." i shake my head a little & bring my hand up to jarens face & gently caress it, he moves his head into my hand & closes his eyes. love for him fills my chest & in this moment i can't even remember why i got angry or what has happened, all i can focus on is him, in this moment. he opens his eyes half way & shakes his head with a small smile on his face,
"you- no we deserve this. it doesn't matter what happened to you before- what they did ir you did, everyone deserves love & you are no different. you didn't do anything to deserve this, us, it was just- it was just you being you, caring, loving, gentle, passionate, & sweet; you." he finishes & brings his hand up to hold mine that's still caressing his face, he intertwines our fingers & rubs his thumb over my hand gently.
"i love you." i whisper & he smiles & kisses my cheeck softly, his lips just barely grazing my skin.
"i love you too." he whispers back. he kisses the mole above my lips, then the right side of my lips, & finally my lips. we kiss slowly, no rushing or strong need between us, just soft love, gentle touches & whispers.
"i'm cold." he whispers & i chuckle against his lips a little,
"does hot choco, a fluffy blanket, & cuddles sound good?" i ask knowing that's what he wants & what we need right now after my explosion & small breakdown. he nods his head quickly & smiles large,
"how can you always read my mind?" he questions & i just laugh,
"90% of the time you want three things & only those three things- it's not rocket science smitt." i say as i get up & go to the closest to grab a large fluffy blanket. he gets up from the bed & wraps his arms around himself, i walk to him & wrap him up in the blanket & he sighs,
"perfect." he whispers & i chuckle. we walk to our kitchen, he sits on the counter next to me as i make hot chocolate. while i wait for the milk to warm he rests his head in the crook of my neck starts to gently kiss my neck. the microwave beeps, interrupting his kisses & he frowns slightly when i walk away. when i'm done making our drinks we sit on the couch & cuddle; i'm sitting with my back to the armrest & smit between my legs, resting his back on my chest.
when we finish drinking i bring the cups in & we make our way to the bedroom & hold each other untill we eventually fall alseep in each others arms, forgetting about everything, just us & the warmth we feel from each other on our minds.
///lowercase intentional\\\
///words- 1074\\\
YOU ARE READING
mcyt +friends oneshots
Fanfiction///requests? open.\\\ ///most of these are hurt/comfort but some are fluffy\\\ ///some of these deal with heavy subjects but i put a very obvious warning on them & will also add a description on what it's warning if someone asks\\\ ///we got mostly...
