Pressure

Lil Secret

Jackman "Jack" Harlow

I know that you sick of being my little secret
I know that you sick of being my favorite
I know that you hate the fact that I'm famous
Hate the fact that you gotta wait, but you gone wait
'Cause you confident that we soulmates

I sat in the room arms crossed and highly upset. Here I am in Turks and Caicos with my boyfriend, Jackman, as he filmed a movie. I came thinking that during his free time we would spend time together on the beach and out to eat.. but no. I've spent every day since we got here doing shit alone. I went to the beach.. alone. I went to the bars.. alone. I went to the restaurants with my new best friends.. gravity and wind. Today was the 12th day of me just doing shit alone and everything was sinking in completely. This was probably going to be the rest of my life with him. Never being seen with him. Never being able to kiss him in public. Never being able to hug him in public. Never being able to claim him as mine when we aren't around our close friends and family. I sighed. I might as well go home. I stood from my spot and started gathering my stuff. Tears of frustration and sadness dampened my brown cheeks. So consumed in my thoughts and emotions, I didn't even notice another presence in the room until I heard a voice spoke to me and I knew exactly who it was.

Ain't nobody I love more, I just need more time

"Baby," he paused, "wha- what are you doing? Why are you packing?" he asked concern dripping in his Kentucky accent.

"I'm going home," I replied dully with annoyance.

"Why?"

I ignored him as I continued to move around the room to grab my things. I didn't even realize that the tears were more visible than before.

"Jazmine, baby, hey," he said as he grabbed hold of me and pulled me against him so my back rested on his chest, "what's wrong? Talk to me, gorgeous," he whispered as his chin rested on my shoulder.

I sniffled as my head hung low. "I'm tired of being alone here. I thought that I would be able to spend some time with you. But I guess I was way off. Forgot that I was just the little secret that you're so embarrassed of," I mumbled out with a soft, harsh voice.

His chin lifted off my shoulder. He turned me around to face him but I refused to look into those cloudy blue eyes that I adore so much. Before I could even process what was happening, his soft hand was already lifting my head to look upward at him. Our eyes lock and I could see the sadness and hurt within his as he did mine.

Spending time with somebody else and I get to wishing that she was you

Any girl can be beautiful, but not any girl can just be in tune

And you so tune, you understand me

"I could never be embarrassed of you. And I'm sorry for making you feel that way. I truly am. I love you more than anything in this world. And from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry," he paused, "how about this? I'm done filming for a few weeks. I'm putting the final touches on my album. Once I'm done, I'm all yours for a few weeks. Ok? Just please stay with me and let me make it up to you," he spoke from his heart and it showed.

I nodded slowly never breaking eye contact. "Ok, I'll stay on one condition," I said softly.

"What is it?" He asked.