shitnanigans

incorrect quotes pt. 6: ........dicks

all of these are DoTB 
im sorry

Arlo: Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters.

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Dorotea: Flourine Uranium Carbon Potassium Bismuth Technetium Helium Sulfur Germanium Thulium Oxygen Neon Yttrium 

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Ontario: I like my coffee how I like myself: dark, bitter, and too hot for you.

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Donatello/Josette: I was gifted with an issue.

The DoDo/JoJo Gang: I am the issue.

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Josette: I'm not actually funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.

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Marino: I'm like trash but high-quality trash. The kind of trash rich, white people have like, crumpled up hundred dollar bills and leftover caviar.

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Cristopher: Life is like a dick. It gets hard for no reason.

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Trent: If I have 20 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can fit on the roof? Purple.

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Alexandre: Chris, why are there pancakes in the silverware drawer?

Christopher: I- Don't you mean why are there silverware in pancake drawer?

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Hiroaki: If you have blood sugar, you take a knife, then make a cut and let it bleed.

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Dorotea: People who say "no pun intended" are cowards. 

Dorotea: Intend your puns, weakling.

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Stella: If I see a young lout in a 4WD with a pig dog on the back, I know I can trust in his strength to restrain that brutish mutt.

Stella: If I see a police officer with a bristling Sheperd in tow, I put my faith in his experienced hands to curb its slavering growl.

Stella: But if I see an elderly lady with a frothing Chihuahua, I tremble before almighty God.

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Christopher: 24 hr Walmart was a privilege I did not appreciate enough.

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Alexandre: Do you think pigeons have feelings?

Cristopher: Soleil(?), I love you, but it's 2 am.

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Marino: Are turtles slow because God fears them?

Hiroaki: What?

Marino: Did He make them slow because He's scared what they could do?

Hiroaki: I heard you-

Marino: If turtles were fast, could they kill God?

Hiroaki, covering his ears: We've been compromised.

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Josette, to herself: Please. I don't have time for your tears.

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Donatello: Hey, you alright?

Arlo, on the floor, sobbing: I'm sad.

Donatello: Me too.

Donatello: No, wait. Hello Sad, I'm Dad-

Donatello: No- uh, what's wrong?