Benefits With My Teacher

BWMT- 29

29

“What?”

I found myself repeating what I had just said. “We need to stop.”

He remained silent, like I just told a kid that his favorite ice cream flavor was already sold out. When I realized he wasn’t going to say something, I told him, “I don’t want this relationship anymore. I actually find myself falling for you.” I whispered the last sentence.

“I cannot continue with this knowing I’m just a kissing buddy to you.” I looked down, tears threatening to fall out of my eyes. “I want to stop, forget everything that has happened. Pretend like we know nothing about each other. Forget everything that has been happening these past few months.

And you want to know why I did what I did tonight? I hoped that we got you jealous and we did but I just found out tonight how low I went.” By this time tears ran through my eyes but I couldn’t stop. “I realized how far I would push my limit for you. But another thing I realized tonight was that how low you could even go. And I went down with you.”

I stopped, my soft, shivering voice turned to stone. “You brought your ex girlfriend to my birthday dinner. You knew how I felt about you but what, huh?! You went so low that you brought her and then you made out with here back in the club. Fuck, you could’ve even done live porno in front of everyone! You knew, the whole time. Since when? I don’t know. And I have no idea why it fucking took me so long to realize why you were so angry at me. You do realize I am still mad at you for getting angry at me, right?

So I gave Luke my number and gave a small peck on his cheek that night, what’s wrong with that?! You get angry at me for that? You started this when you got jealous and even dared to bring your ex here, to my birthday dinner. Luke and I just played along with your game. So yes, you got me pretty fucking pissed when I knew that she was your ex.”

I took a sharp intake of breath, finding it hard for me to breath. All I saw was red and right now I was the bull. My grip of the box became tighter as I tossed it to him.

“Don’t bother giving it back to me.” I snarled. “Just like what I had said, I want to stop, forget everything.”

I have no idea how long I stood in front of him, glaring when I got got fed up and turned to the door. He finally spoke up, his voice hoarse and rough. “I like you too Kate, so freaking much but the thing was that I waited for this day. Back in Luke’s place yeah I got jealous. You have no idea how long I have been waiting for this day.

My jealousy slipped out back at Luke’s when I got mad. Yeah, I’ve been holding that in for a while now. I’ve been waiting for you to be legal. Waiting for you to be finally legal to be with me.”

I stopped dead in my tracks. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. So he did like me back. Luke was right. The joy in me was supposed to erupt by now. Like in movies I should turn around, sprint and hug him. But right now I didn’t feel anything to do that.

So instead I spat, “Too late for that now when you brought her with you.”

I grabbed the door knob to turn it open and proceeded back in the club where the music was clearly heard. The smell was disgusting, a mix of sweat and alcohol. Climbing up the stairs and back to the private room, I avoided the people who rubbed their bodies against the walls and rails.

I found the room empty. Am I even in the right room? I’m sure I was. How long did I take screaming at Mr. West? I fished out my phone and called the first number I saw which was the number I had the most recent phone conversation with, Luke.

“Where the fuck are you?”

“We left, all of us.” I heard his voice from the other line. “You and West need to sort out your own shits. And no, you have no ride home.”