My Mafia man II

Chapter 9

John opened his mouth to say something, but he closed it instantly and focused his attention to the empty dishwasher tray, sliding it inside of the dishwasher "what is it John? Spit it out!" I ordered him annoyingly; John turned around reading my face, "you know they split up right?" he asked me trying to look less awkward, "who?" I asked him curiously, "Lucy" he replied almost in whisper trying to fake clear his throat. I must have heard it wrong right? This cant be true; "what?" i asked him again ignoring the Goosebumps i felt; "Kyle and Lucy they broke up" he said again, i closed my eyes trying to gather this new information, certainly not because of me i thought to myself; "ok" i replied him casually not knowing what to say, "ok, is that all you can say?" John asked me with raised eyebrow; "what else should i say then? They obviously didn't break up because of me did they?" i asked him maintaining my calmness and turned around leaving the kitchen as John followed me; "i am not telling you to forget everything Rose but you cannot move on in life until you let go of your past" he said softly and i am guessing he probably don't want his wife and daughter to hear us, or does his wife knows? She probably does or else why would she leave her man with me, with a total stranger who she met just few hours ago, "Rose, Lucy wants the best for you, you are just dragging her into something which she didn't played any part at all" he said justifying Lucy's situation and god i hate to admit it but he was right, i don't even remember why i didn't talked to her, probably because she kept her relationship hidden from me or maybe i felt betrayed, but betrayal of what?; "it's good to forgive and you know what's even best, to forget and move on" he said calmly studying my each reaction and my each move; his words untied all the knots that i had tied around in my heart, all the scabs and cuts slowly began to unfold and took me back to those painful nights, he wants me to forget it? Does he think it's that easy? I feel my feet cold and my knees weak, my eyes filled with tears unable to see clear, i sobbed falling into the soft carpet; "Rose" John mumbled and i could hear the shock in his voice.

He came closer to me and suddenly i felt his arms around my wrist, his touch was so unfamiliar; this is not that hand which had hold me before, this is not James hand neither Kyle's which i run away from; this is pure confusing for me; "No, don't touch me" i yelled pushing him away from me; as i pushed him away the furniture behind him got pushed back causing the creaking noise, the silent night was disturbed and oh god what situation i have got myself into; maybe because of the chaos or maybe Ana just realised that she had left her husband with another women, she slowly stepped down from the staircase looking towards me and to John, i don't want to be seen like this, i quickly try to get up and accidentally find myself losing my balance, "Rose" John said my name and began to grab my wrist again; "i said stop touching me" i whispered and grabbed my stuff ready to leave; "yeah, run away Rose, that's what you good for, run, run away from all the problem instead of facing it and moving on" John yelled mockingly which brought out all the anger that were inside of me that i was unaware of, i turned around wiping my tears away "you think i enjoy holding into my past? Like being molested was the best part of my life? What do you know about me? Just because you found out bits and pieces about my life doesn't mean that you have lived it; you don't know what it feels like to be touched when you don't want to be, you feel so dirty, so disgusted with yourself. You don't know how it feels when your own parent doesn't give a shit about you and you just have to live with all the crap that comes in your life; you don't know what its likes to finally run away from all those bullshit and it still manages to come to your way; you know nothing. Nothing about what i went through, how i went through, and i don't want to deal with any of those shit anymore because i am done, i am done playing the victim who is so fucking weak, i just want to leave everything behind and never talk about it, this is my way of moving on" i yelled back at him breaking into tears; "you don't know what it's like" i said softly between my sob.

A/N sorry for short chapter :D, thank you reading and voting :)

XOXO