My Mafia man II

Chapter 18

The next day.

I was woken up with a doorbell sound, it's probably Ana or John I thought to myself, I shuffled around and realised that I had spent my night on the couch, I gently ran my fingers through the blanket and found my eyes wet, I was distracted with the continuous doorbell sound, annoyingly I got up and checked the screen to find James's face. "what are you doing here?" I asked him through the intercom, "wanted to know how you doing" he replied with a weak smile, "could have called me" I snapped, "don't know your number" he answered; "oh come on James, you think I don't know you, if you want you can have my number with a snap of your finger" I said annoyingly, "can I please see you?" he asked with knitted eyebrow; what is it with this man? Why do I find myself being pulled towards him? With a beating hearts and a shaky hand, I opened the door for him.

He walked in holding a coffee and a donut in his hands, coffee reminds me of my baby, I frowned staring at the white take away coffee cup, "you ok?" James asked looking at me then to the coffee, "when she was in my tummy I couldn't stand the smell of coffee" I replied grabbing the coffee from his hands, it's been 6 months that I haven't tasted coffee, "tell me more" James said leaning against the couch, "what do you want to know?" I asked him; "everything" he replied curiously; "well she gave me a very hard time for first few months" I shared with a chuckle as James listened to me patiently, "when did you find out?" he asked me again and this time he looked very serious, "couple of weeks after we separated" I replied trying not to make an eye contact, "why didn't you tell me?" he asked again, "I don't know James, it's true that I didn't knew your number, I did wanted to let you know but I guess I never got a chance" I replied nervously placing my hands over my knees, "if I were here, would you have informed me?" he asked, "I guess" I replied shrugging my shoulder, "what would you have done if I had come for you? Would you have forgiven me?" he asked curiously. "I don't know what I would have done James, there were days when I wished you were here with me but now after the incident I don't know, I am confuse"; "you blame me for it?" he asked with a raised eyebrow and I was lost for word. 

I never thought about us, him and me. I still have this unsettle feelings inside of me after losing a child that I never thought about moving on, how do I move on? "I am still crazily, head over heels for you Rose, I want us. It would be a shame to let it go after everything we have gone through together" he said trying to convince me; "I don't even remember us James, all I know is these crazy butterflies I feel inside of me because of you, my racing heart when I see you, I was already in love with you when I came to my sense James" I mumbled looking at him, "then what is stopping you Rose? Why can't we be together? Is it because of John?" he asked me which instantly made me laugh, it baffles me to see how he think; "what does it has to do with John?" I asked him being disgusted with his thoughts; "I don't know about you but that guy sure do have feelings for you Rose" he said aggravatingly, and I was lost for words, I didn't knew what to say or how to react of his accusation. "you are wrong, he is happily married with a child" I said with my voice louder than before, "he might be but the way he looks at you....", "how does he look at me James?" I yelled cutting him off, "he looks at you the way that only I am allowed to look at you" he growled coming closer to me, "and how do you look at me James, like I am some kind of victim that needs rescue?" I asked him confidently with a smirk; "when I look at you, I find a better version of myself, I see this beautiful face that has forgotten how to smile, I see these eyes that has seen worst, I see a better person that I can be" he whispered cupping my face. With his face inches away, I feel my heart beating, the butterflies in my stomach managed to wake up and take over my whole body as it began to flutter around, reaching each part of my body sending me this weird feeling. I tried to push him away, but I feel this strong magnet pushing me towards him, I froze after noticing his face coming closer and closer to mine. "I love you, you don't know how long I waited for a moment like this" he whispered and claimed my mouth, I stayed frozen confused and thinking about my next move and just when I was about to give in he parted away from my lips and joined his forehead with mine; "I am really sorry that we met under these circumstances, I know I wasn't there but she was my baby as well, I am as much hurt as you are, knowing that I never knew her existence and when I learnt it was too late.......i am sorry you had to go through it but please Rose, give me a chance" he whispered with his heavy breath, I placed my hands over his chest and found his heart equally beating as fast as mine, I opened my eyes and see how sincere he was, "ok" I replied, "ok?" he asked immediately opening his eyes, and like a Christmas light his face bright up, filling our empty room with his excitement and giggle; "I am willing to try but I still need some time" I mumble looking at him, "oh Rose, take as much time as you need, as long as you are with me" he replied lifting me up and spinning me around.

The next day

My phone has been ringing for past few hours and honestly, I don't feel like picking it up, being annoyed by the vibrating noise I went to check the number, it's a number that I haven't seen before.

Rose: Hello

Stranger: Hey

Rose: Yes

Stranger: its me, Lucy.......

My throat suddenly became dry and I was out of words, I can't think of any words, how do I respond to her

Lucy: Hey, I know you are upset with me but please don't hang up, I was confused.........lost.......

Rose: yeah

Lucy: can we meet please?

Rose: ummm...

Lucy: please, for old time sake...

I sighed with the idea of meeting her, I know I shouldn't blame her for what Kyle did, I don't even know why I am so upset at her

Lucy: hello, are you there?

Rose: yeah, let's meet

Lucy: thank you Rose, John told me about your memory so I will text you an address, it was the time we use to hang out all the time

"coffee beans, I get it" I replied cutting her off, mostly annoyed with the fact of John going around telling other's my business. "oh you do remember" she sounded surprised, "I had only lost few years of memories, I will see you there" I replied, "this afternoon at around 2ish?" she asked, "cool with me" I replied coldly and cut off the phone. Meeting her would be taking another step for me, we haven't met since the day I left her place, we haven't spoken neither we tried to.....i guess this is what people called growing up......or running away......the flashback came back in my mind of the night John and I argued, how he told me to....run....like I always do. I think it's time to move on, for myself, to let go of those toxic moments and live happier life.