My Mafia man II

Chapter 19

My phone vibrated again, announcing the message that I have just received "I am so happy that you decided to give us another chance, you don't know how happy I am right now Rose, I owe this happiness to you and it would be selfish of me to celebrate it by myself" it was from an unknown number but I guess this is James's number, I chuckled softly reading it; "how rude of you to not invite the guest of honour" I replied him after thinking about it for a while; "I didn't wanted to scare you, you said you needed some space and you don't know for how long I had typed up this message, debating with myself weather to send it to you or not" a giggle escape my mouth after reading his message, "should I send Liam to pick you up?" he messaged again, "sure" I replied him this time instantly.

I quickly got up and took a shower, I somehow feel so empty, I stroked my stomach where I had a child just few weeks ago...I sobbed thinking about how she is no longer a part of me now.... I didn't even knew that she was a girl. "I am so sorry baby" I whispered hoping she will hear me.

The doorbell rang just when I finished getting ready, "will be there in second" I replied through the intercom seeing Liam's face, I hurriedly put my sneakers on and headed out the door.

"perfect outfit for a date" Liam commented sarcastically eyeing my outfit; "don't you know this is a trend now brother" I replied him confidently throwing my legs up in the air showing my black leggings and zipping up my windproof jacket. What would I know about fashion? I have zero knowledge about it but I'm not hearing from him, he laughed shaking his head after seeing me jumping up and down throwing my legs in the air, "no matter how high you jump, you can't be any tall than my shoulder" he said laughing as loudly as he can, trying to annoy me, "whatever" I replied not knowing of any strong comeback.

Liam opened the door for me; the black wrangler looked and felt the same; I ran my hands through every inch and corner of the seat and felt the cold leather; it smelt the same as well; "happy?" Liam asked breaking me away from my thoughts; "very" I replied with a smile.

Liam: so is that John dude replacing me?

Rose: no one can replace you Liam and you should know that

Liam: I don't know Rose, nothing is same as it was before, you were pregnant, you and James don't live together anymore. I am just lost at the moment.

Rose: yeah things did went downhill.

As our conversation came to an end we arrived at James's place. I looked around and smiled feeling the familiar sense. "baby" James came out of nowhere with a big smile plastered on his face, "hey" I whispered giving him a quick hug, "I miss you" he whispered pulling me in for a longer hug; he placed his head at the crook of my neck and took a moment to smell my hair; "I missed your smell" he mumbled pulling me more closer to him. I noticed Jasper walking out of his villa with a corner of my eye, "Jasper" I called breaking my hug from James, he let me go with a furrowed brow as if he was sad of letting me go out of his touch.

"Rose" Jasper called out my name with a biggest smile, "I am so happy to see this sight at this hour of the day" he said giving me a quick hug and a peck on my cheek; "I am the happiest man on earth today" he said looking at me and to James with a smile, "yes dad, me too" James said grabbing my wrist and pulling me closer next to him, "I am just heading out, will be back soon Rose" Jasper informed me as he walked away with Liam's dad from us, Liam's dad looked at me with a big smile and gave me a wink before walking away, "what was that for?" Liam asked me, shocked at his dad winking at me; "what can I say Liam, I am pretty popular around here" I joked and walked in holding James hand with a giggle.

We walked into the kitchen and I was welcomed by another warm smile; "glad to see you back, darling" Gloria said with almost wet eyes; "I am glad to see you as well" I replied removing my hand from James to give her a big hug and the sudden untouching moment didn't impress James as he sighed and kept his face stern. Gloria quickly let me go seeing James reaction, "would you like to eat anything?" she asked looking at me than to James, "I am fine Gloria, thank you" I replied with a polite smile and moved back to James, he held my hands tightly and whispered in my ear "just letting you know, I am not letting this hand go again" just as he finished complaining I find Mark coming closer to us, "maam" he greeted me with a big smile, "How are you?" I asked him trying to remove my hand from James but he didn't budge, so with my right hand I awkwardly shook my hand with him, "how's sophie?" I asked him, "still in Italy" he replied with a shy smile, "she found her passion in fashion, so she is studying in Milan" he said proudly, "good on you for supporting her" I praised him without realising James's presence as he cleared his throat to point out his obvious uncomfort.

"where do we go now?" he asked after finally finding some alone time, "green house" I replied with a big smile, "fine by me" he whispered, amazed by the big smile I had on my face. " I was thinking to go for sailing" he said looking at me nervously, "you mean now?" I asked him, "aha" he nodded. "I can't, I need to see a friend in couple of hour" his face changed suddenly and didn't looked very pleased with my answer, "John?" he asked "no, Lucy" I replied with a giggle, "lucy...your old friend?" he asked with an eyebrow raised, "of course you know each person in my life James" I said shaking my head, "sorry, couldn't help it" he apologised and moved closer to me as we sat on the only bench in green house. "I miss seeing you this close" he whispered and moved away few strands of hair from my face; "you have lost weight" he commented reading my face closely, "you look small" he whispered and slowly moved his face more closer until our forehead touched, "I missed sitting this close to you, inhaling your scent, hearing you breath, feeling your presence" he mumbled joining our foreheads with his eyes closed, "I am not good at expressing love but Rose, I love you so much" he said, " finally you are back into my arms and I want to be selfish and not let you go, do you know why I want to go sailing? He asked removing his forehead away from mine, "why?" I asked him nervously, "so that I can have you all by myself" he replied with a face that I have never seen, he looked very sad and scared, "sorry, I need to go and see Lucy" i said softly enough for him to know that I am as sad as he is. "it's all right, you need to make amendment with her, maybe after that?" he asked with a little hope on his face and I couldn't reject, "of course, sure" I replied knowing I had nothing planned out for later the day or tomorrow in matter of fact. James looked very pleased hearing my answer as he laid his head on my shoulder and held my hands more tightly; "I love you and thank you for coming back to my life" he said, I somehow felt sad for him. "I love you too" I mumbled looking at him, "I am sorry, you know....for loosing....our daughter" he said nervously looking deep into my eyes, "yeah" was all I could say as suddenly I felt the warm tears rolling down my cheek, "hey" he whispered and began to wipe it away "I am sorry for bringing that up" he apologised and pulled me more closer to him, I began to sob laying my head on his chest, "I miss her" I mumbled trying to wipe up my tears; "you have every rights to miss her, its ok to miss her and be sad, I will be here for you wiping away your tears, listening to you talk about her" he said gently scratching my scalps, "that's the thing James, I have nothing to talk about her, for a moment I felt her in my tummy and like a bad dream when I opened my eyes she is gone" I said sobbing more; "hush baby hush" James said comforting me, and all of a sudden I felt something wet on my forehead, I looked up to find his eyes wet as well, "are you crying?" I asked him cupping his face with my both hands, "I hate to see you like this" he whispered trying to look away, forcing the tears to disappear, "I know she is our daughter and you already had that connection but I am kind of jealous that she spent that 6 months with you not me, I am glad that I didn't lose you that night......" "so you are glad that she died?' I asked him even before he could finish, the anger inside of me boiled up and I was ready to fire him back more offensive words "baby, No.....what I mean is I am sad that we lost our daughter but somehow I am glad that at least one of you made it, can you imagine finding out that you are going to have a child and all of a sudden you loose both, a child and the love of your life.....what do you think would have happened to me?" he asked with a streak of tears falling down from his eyes, "sorry, I spoke too soon" I apologised, "but James if I had a choice that night I would have rather die and save her than me living" I said confidently looking at him; "noooo....please don't say that baby......a child....we can always make another one but there is no other you....." he said looking into my eyes, making sure that he hasn't offended me....i understand his point of view, we can always have another baby but what if I loose James? Would I have chosen the baby or James if I had to make a choice? "hey" James whispered stroking my cheek, breaking me away from my thought "you ok?' he asked and all I could do was nod.