✨JJBA ONESHOTS✨

Abbacchio x reader

Mista and Narancia had run into a stand user on their way to pick up important things for Bruno, they were losing greatly.

You stomped your foot down causing the earth under Narancia sprung up and strike him in the face like a fist, you already had Mista sinking in quicksand, you noticed someone approaching as the boy whose nose you had broken called out to the man, "Abbacchio!"

"You..." Leone said as he glared at you, the tension was growing stronger as everyone was waiting for something to happen.

"Yep, good ol' Abba," You said as your serious expression turned into a dorky grin, "come here you old bastard," You laughed as the two of you shook hands, "you know each other?!" Narancia yelled as he held his bleeding nose.

"Yeah of course, but I never knew my old pal would become a babysitter, where did you get these kids?" You laughed as Leone scoffed, "you sure haven't changed one bit," he said as he smiled at you, "well mister, some of us don't get grumpy when they get older!" You laughed, "mind releasing me from this?" Mista said as he struggled to breathe, "oh, of course, there ya go kiddo." You said as you released the poor boy from your stand's effect.

"So how exactly do you know each other?" Bruno asked as he watched Giorno fix Narancia's nose, "you're kidding right, Leone never told you guys?" You said with shock, "told about what?" Fugo asked, "We met when we were in-" "[Y/N] I swear I won't be afraid to beat you to death if you don't shut your mouth right now," Abbachio said as he gave you a warning glare, "oh come on, it wasn't that bad!" You cooed at him, "shut it, woman," he scoffed at you.

"Okay so it all started when this old man here, still was a young and sweet," You said watching Abbacchio glare at you, "why are you calling me old, you are older than me." He said, you shushed him, "anyway, this is a story I heard about myself actually from yours truly," You said as you pointed at Leone, "this one happened when we were still going to school together, we had this one asshole teacher, whose kid also went to the same school we were in, I think he was one year behind us right, Abba?" You asked your old friend, "yes, and stop calling me that." He scoffed.

"Alright, so one weekend this kid's parents had decided to leave town, which you should never do if you're an asshole," You heard Mista chuckle, "and this kid decided to throw a party at his dad's house, so everyone around town heard about it and we all got up individually and thought 'okay let's go over there and destroy the place.' " You continued with the story earning a chuckle from Leone, "I walked into this party, everyone I have ever met was there and everyone was drinking like it was the end of the world," You said with a chuckle.

"People were drinking like it was the civil war and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off, it was totally unsupervised, we were like dogs without horses, we were running wild," you could hear Mista laughing, as Bruno tried to keep a straight face as he listened to your story, "I walk down to the basement, they had a pool table in the basement, one dude took a running start, and threw his body onto the pool table and broke it in half!" You exclaimed as Narancia laughed and Giorno chuckled.

"Another kid found out which room was the teacher's and went upstairs and took a shit on his computer," You said in a low voice, earning an 'ew' from Fugo. You sipped on the glass of water, and placed the glass back on the table, "-so the party was going great." You said as you gave a knowing look to Abbachio, who was smirking.

"I'm standing in the basement and I'm holding a red cup you know like you've seen movies, so I'm standing there, and I'm holding a red cup and I'm starting to blackout and I guess someone said like, 'something, something police' and in a brilliant moment of word association, I yelled, 'fuck da police!'" You said as Giorno and Bruno were trying to keep themselves from laughing as Mista and Narancia were dying of it, Fugo was chuckling.

"And everyone else joined in." You said as Leone nodded, "a hundred drunk children yelling, 'fuck da police' with the confidence of guys who have like already been to jail and aren't afraid of it anymore, you know that like 'I served my nickle, you come and take me!' confidence," You chuckled.

"The reason someone had said, 'something, something police' was because the police were there!" You stated, Bruno was letting out few laughs and covering his mouth, Giorno was now losing it with Mista, Narancia, and Fugo.

"So a police officer walked down the stairs and got to the bottom of the basement and looked out over a sea of drunk toddlers yelling 'Fuck da police' in his face! And he was almost impressed," You continued with the story, "yeah he was like 'Woah'" Leone added as he let out a chuckle.

"And then he leaned into his walkie-talkie and went, 'get the paddy wagon' and my friend Abba, who is now in this gang, being a total grumpy old man, grabbed a 40, smashed it on the ground, and yelled, 'scatter!'" You exclaimed loudly.

"We all ran in different directions! It was like that scene in Ratatouille when the humans come in the kitchen and all the rats go in different ways-" You said as you got up from your seat, "We all ran in different directions! I ran into the laundry room, and I jumped on the washing machine and I crawled out through a window into the backyard and now I'm running through the backyard and there's this big chain-linked fence and I thought 'I've never climbed a fence that high before!' " You gasped for air as you sat back down slamming your hand on the table.

"And then I woke up at home," you said the entire gang losing it their minds, "thanks to me yeah," Leone said as he took a sip of his drink trying to calm himself down from laughing, "yeah that's true thank god," You laughed, "so what happened next?" Mista asked as he chuckled, you cleared your throat.

"On Monday, I went to school, because that's what we did back then, and I'm walking into the school building and who do I see but the teacher's son, and he says to me 'hey, were you at my party on Saturday?' And I said 'no' you know, like a liar." You chuckled along with the gang.

"And he said 'things got really out of hand someone broke the pool table-'" "'Someone took a shit on my dad's computer,'" Leone cut you off in a mocking voice, making you let out a snort,

"'But the worse thing', he says 'The worse thing is that someone stole these old antique photos of my grandmother, and my parents are freaking out about it.' And I had that thought, that only blackout drunks and Leone Abbacchio can have," You stated as Leone scoffed at you, as the others let out a chorus of snickers.

"Did I do that? I figured no, I wouldn't have done that, but I was never sure until! two years later," You heard the gang gasp expect for Leone, "relax," You said as you leaned on the chair, I'm playing video games with this kid named 'Prosciutto' that we also went to the school with, two years later, we've graduated by now, we're playing video games for a couple of hours and then Pros says to me, 'Hey, come here, I want to show you something,'" The gang leaned closer to listen to the story.

"And then he takes me into his bedroom and then he takes me into a side room off of his bedroom-" "Never a good thing to have," Leone stated cutting you off once again, making the others chuckle.

"So he shows me a tiny room that is covered wall to wall in stolen antique photos from different people's parties over the years." You said as the others watched you in shock, "and I said, 'why?'" You whispered, "'why do you do this?' and Pros said, 'because it's the one thing you can't replace.'" You finished, Mista clapped his hands together as he laughed, "That's the end of that story, but how fucked up is that? right? That's crazy!" You exclaimed.

"So I don't drink anymore," You said with a sigh, "so you two had known each other longer than Bruno had known Leone?" Fugo asked, "I guess so, I mean what? We have been dating for like how long now?" You turned to ask Leone, the others were spitting out their drinks, "what? We were friends in school but after that, he asked me out! I couldn't say no, look at this man!" You exclaimed, "shut it," Leone said trying to hide his smile.