✨JJBA ONESHOTS✨

Bruno's gang x reader [shitpost]

You sat in a dark room, as you watched Abbachio sit in front of you, "welcome to the interrogation." He said as he watched you with his oddly colored eyes, what color fucking were the? Purple or piss yellow? Who knew it must be some real fuckery. 

"The detective gon' come thru and when he do, you better, FESS THE FUCK UP." He told you, "you need to pipe, THE FUCK DOWN." You told him as you sat at the other side of the table. 

"You facing 30." Fugo told you, "shit, I ain't facing no jail time and that's for-  GOD damn sure." 

"wait for that interrogator to come thru, we'll see what the fuck happens." The goth said to you, suddenly you heard a door slam open as Doppio wandered into the interrogation room, "y'all ordered the chicken biscuit?" 

"No?" You said as the three of you turned to look at him, "oh damn, I ain't suppose to be here."

"Yeah fucka, take your fucking chicken, BISKIT, get your little stupid ass on-" "Yo don't worry about the chicken biscuit, I'll rock your shit, say some fuck fuck shit like that again-" Doppio said as he looked at Fugo with his shining anime eyes, "you really gonna have a little situation."

"Hand off the chicken Biscuit-" Abbachio was cut off as Doppio slammed the chicken biscuit making the goth get knocked out on the table, Fugo dragged Doppio out of the room slamming the door behind him.

"Oh Jail break, I'm gettin' my bitch ass the- FUCK OUTTA here." You stated as you got up from your seat, you heard the door get slammed open again, "you're not going anywhere." Bruno said as Giorno stood behind him, "y'all gotta quit slammin' these damn doors," you told them as you sat back down.

"You ain't shit in this room," Bruno told you, "you're getting locked up, I guaranTEE." Giorno said, "you do 30." Bruno told you, "you actin' real fucking bold for an NPC buddy." 

"NPC stands for shut your stupid BITCH BABY ASS UP." Giorno told you, "that's the wrong fuckin' letters dude," you stated as you leaned on your chair. "Listen, we know what you did." Bruno told you, "start confessing."

"I might have been thuggin'" you told them, "that speeding ticket ain't no joke." Bruno scoffed, "yeah it is."

"So what the fuck is up? You're doin' 85 in a 25?" Giorno questioned,  "I'll kill motherfuckers before I obey them traffic laws," you said. 

"I can respect that, but I thought you were keeping it 100." Bruno stated, "round the fuck up then." 

Giorno slammed his hands on the table, "what's up with the pizza with the fucking bone in it? We heard about that clown shit." He glared at you, "you thought I was- BULLSHITTIN'? I asked for that pizza, BONELESS."

"oh you for sure fuckin' around." Bruno said as he glared at you, "I admit I was bullshittin'-" "We knew that, couple of people went missing recently, you know anything about that?" He asked, "about what?"

"The missing people!" Giorno yelled at you, "YOU did that shit." You told him "I did that shit?" He asked as he moved away from the table in shock, "I been seeing a lot of motherfuckers gettin' into cop cars, not a whole lot gettin' out," you told him with a glare.

"They ain't gettin' out because we got em' locked the fuck up." Bruno told you, "you lucky I don't fuck the whole police station up." 

"Bring in the guns." Bruno stated, Mista and Narancia slammed the door open as they entered the room, "Y'all fuck ass cops on some bull," you said. 

"No more fuckin' around." Giorno stated as he summoned his stand, "ah shit-" "I'm gonna end this." "You ain't endin' SHIT, swear on Yͯ̒̓̚͡Ëͥ̇̄͒ͦ͌͟͝E͆͂͌̌ͬ̉͑҉Z̡͒̂Y̢̑̏̈ͨ̒͋S̨͆."

You summoned your stand, "K͌͊ͥ͝A̷̧̓ͦ́̽̈́͏Ņ̓ͨ̅̅̅͟Y̶̨͑̌E̸ͥ̃̚?!" Narancia yelled in shock, "fuck em' up Kanye." You told him, "this is some FUCK SHIT." Mista said as he hurried out of the room Narancia following after him,  "Golden ExperiencE-  Fuck, my voice cracked there, my bad, GOLDEN EXPERIENCE!"

Abbachio woke up, "oh y'all fuckin' around huh? See ya." He stated as he got up and left, "just fucking confess." Bruno commanded you, "I didn't do that shit."

After getting beat the fuck up you woke up in a cell, "you fucked up, but you had this shit comin'" Risotto told you as he exited his cell, ready to be a free man again, "I'mma get out this bitch, and I'm gonna come find you." 

"Don't even try it, you're doing life." He told you as he walked out, "It was a fucking SPEEDING TICKET."