✨JJBA ONESHOTS✨

Risotto x reader [shitpost]

You stared at Doppio who was standing behind the counter, "your bitch ass still working here?" You asked him, "shit." You cursed under your breath, "yeah I'm still working here, the fuck you mean?" He said feeling offended by your words.

"You still ain't got a real job?" You asked him, "real job? Bro I know your credit score in the dirt." He told you, "okay, I got bad credit but this cash is good." You told him, "okay what the fuck do you want?" He asked, "let me get uhhhh..." Your phone suddenly rang. 

"Hold on some motherfucker calling me from Italy," you told him as you saw the words 'Risotto' on your phone screen, "can you fucking order?" Doppio asked, "yeah let me get the chicken biscuit with no chicken." You told him as you put the phone to your ear.

"Hello?" "Ey man, how you doing?" A deep voice asked from the other line, "who is this? I don't know nobody from Italy." You stated as Doppio glanced at you before going back to work.

"I ain't fucking with y'all Italians." You told the man on the other line, "look man, I just need some fucking money, some skrill." He told you, "y'all gotta get off my phone with this shit." You told him, "don't act like you don't know me homie." He said back, "I don't," you told him.

"Look man, me and you, we came up from the dirt." He stated, "I mean if you calling for money, then you still in the dirt." You told him, "that's low, that's real low." He said with a slight sadness in his voice, "just like ya fucking pockets." 

"Man I've been there for you since the day one, and I never switched up, never forget that." He told you, "I got limited minutes, wrap this shit up." You told the man on the other line. 

"I need some green." "I ain't got no weed." "I need some cheddar." "I ain't Chuck E Cheese." You told him ready to hang up, "I know you got cash," he said in accusing voice.

"Listen there ain't enough battery on this iPhone 6 for you to be bullshitting and fucking around." You told him, "you're the one bullshitting, acting like you ain't got no bread" he scoffed at you, "yeah I got bread, ya ain't getting it." You told him in an irritated tone, "look I'm at popeyes about to order this chicken biscuit, get yourself a GoFundMe or some shit, look these motherfuckers hiring at popeyes, you can come fill out this application." You told him.

"Oh, you at popeyes? Look I need a chicken sandwich." He requested, "shut your homeless ass up." you told him, "I know you getting a bucket, you just acting stingy." He accused you again, "Broke bitches out here, look iOS11 got my phone acting up." You told him as you hang up on him, "alright, let me get that biscuit." You told Doppio who was still working. 

The door to popeyes slammed open violently as a tall goth made his way inside,  "oh he came thru the door." You stated as you watched him, "so you ain't gon throw bands?" He asked you, "hell fucking nah." 

"Aight motherfucker, since your broke ass ain't gonna hand off money-" "dude, who the fuck are you? Really I got y'all clowns hitting my line every week, I ain't even in the phone book" You said to him cutting off his speech, "that shit don't matter, all that matters is you running me a couple of bills." He told you as he approached you.

"Look, I ain't paid the car note, credit card bills, parking tickets, nothin'." You told him as you took a deep breath in, "you think I got bread to feed the needy bitch?"

"Aight, that's about it, I know you got money and you acting mad stingy, I told you to run that shit bro, you either gonna hand off bills or you catching these hands, real shit that's 100 dude, you wearing that yeezy season 2 jacket, I peeped that shit, them shoes on your feet cost bro, I know, them shits cost, the bottoms faded, but you about to catch this fade." He told you with tears running down his cheeks, as his heart broke, like his wallet.

"Yo, fuck thisY̬̮̮͙͕̯̝͉̦͙͔͎̹̭̹̕͝E̬͚̙̲̠̰̻͚͜E͡҉͠͏̮̝̫̭͎̫͍̱̘͓͕̫̜̤ͅͅT҉̺͎̞̺̰̤͎̣͝" You said as you erased yourself from existence.