Sarcasm | Five Hargreeves (The Umbrella Academy)

10 | time cops

Luther practically threw Five onto the bed before rushing to Diego's sink, scrubbing his hands furiously under the running water, using nearly half the soap in the container.

Diego rolled his eyes at Luther's exaggerated cleanliness and placed Delores on a chair, staring at the mannequin with a mixture of curiosity and disbelief. He turned to Y/N for an explanation, but she just shrugged, unsure herself.

"A mannequin?" Diego muttered, shaking his head. He walked over to Five's sleeping form, standing over him with a mix of frustration and amusement. "Funny. If I didn't know he was such a person prick, I'd say he looks almost adorable in his sleep."

"Well, don't worry. He'll sober up eventually and be back to his normal, unpleasant self," Y/N replied, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed.

Y/N still felt a little dazed, a little dizzy. She was thankful that she could hold her liquor better than Five, who reeked from across the room. The pungent smell of alcohol lingered in the air, mixing with the musty scent of Diego's cluttered apartment. She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself and clear her mind.

"When he wakes up? I can't wait that long! I need to kind out what his connection is with these lunatics before someone else dies," Diego said, pacing to his desk and rifling through papers.

"All that stuff he was saying before, what do you think it means?" Luther asked, resting his head on his hand.

Y/N stiffened momentarily at their newfound suspicion before relaxing and looking over her shoulder as Diego left the room. Earlier, a man had come by saying a woman named Patch needed Diego's help and had found Klaus, prompting Diego to charge out the door with Luther hot on his heels.

At first, Diego was hesitant on letting Luther come along with him but he must've figured he didn't have the time to argue and went along with it anyway.

Now, Y/N was alone with Five and Delores in Diego's room. She puffed her cheeks with air and exhaled before sitting on the couch, glancing over at Five. 

Five, sprawled out on the bed, looked so different when he was asleep. Vulnerable, almost. Diego had been right; if he didn't know better, he'd think Five looked almost adorable. But Y/N knew better. Behind that seemingly innocent facade was the same sharp-tongued, brilliant, and often insufferable Five.

Suddenly, Five stirred and opened an eye, causing Y/N to flinch before turning her simple gaze into a hard stare. "Wake up from your beauty sleep?"

Five groaned, lifting his head from the pillow and looking around. "Where am I?"

"We're at Diego's place. He and Luther found us at the library and brought us here because the Academy was attacked by Hazel and Cha-Cha," Y/N answered, shifting her weight to fold her legs under her and leaning on the armrest. "They were looking for you, again."

Five stared at the space in front of him with a strained expression before glaring at Y/N. "Why is it you who always finds out all my secrets?"

The girl only titled her head, narrowing her gaze. "What's going on, Five? It was one thing at Griddy's, and at Gimble Brothers, but at the Academy? Spill."

He clenched his jaw, pulling his gaze away from her in defeat. "It's a long story."

Y/N perked up slightly as Five continued. "Hazel and Cha-Cha are some of the top hitmen in the place I used to work at. It's called the Commission. And I assure you, it isn't like any other sketchy business out there. The Commission has certain resources, enabling them to travel through time and teleport, just like me. That's why the Handler gave me a visit."