Regularly Irregular

CHAPTER 22 - A Tattered Heart

You ended up spending the night at Jotaro's, making sure to give your mother a - very poor - excuse as to why you had not contacted her the past few days. Somehow, you managed to convince her this so called "project" Kakyoin had told her about was so important that you needed to spend multiple days at Jotaro's house, and his family used androids instead of iPhones so they didn't have any extra chargers when your phone died. As she should have been, your mother was skeptical at first. Luckily, Holy was there to support you and go along with your lie. It was easy for Holy to understand the need to not want your mother to worry, and even if you did tell the truth there was a very small your chance your mom would actually believe you.

Having another parent explain the situation made your mother accept it much more easily, and she even offered to drop a few things off your you. You declined quickly, informing her Holy was kind enough to wash your uniform and give you clothes to sleep in, even going as far as to say she bought a phone charger just for you. It wasn't that you didn't want to see your mother, but in your current state you weren't sure if you'd be able to handle it. You weren't only physically injured, but mentally as well. If you saw her now you might just breakdown at the sight of her.

You didn't really know how you were supposed to feel after all that. Should you be sad? Angry at the man who violated you? Scarred for life? More realistically you would be a mix of the three. But for now you just felt... empty.

"Y/n, sweetheart. Is there anything you would like for dinner?" Holy crouched so she would be at eye level with you. There was a silence from you, your eyes fixated on an empty space on the floor. "Y/n?" Holy's voice was gentle, a blanket of concern laying atop her tone.

Slowly, your eyes moved to meet hers. There was a shimmer in her emerald orbs. All you could think about was how different they looked from Jotaro's. Holy's eyes were so full of warmth and love, despite everything that had happened to her. Jotaro's, on the other hand, were the very definition of cold. You used to hate the look in his eyes, thinking it made him unapproachable. But now you understood, and you were sure soon your eyes would grow to look much like his.

"Would you like something to eat?" Holy asked again.

"Ah... no. I don't have much of an appetite right now."

"Are you sure? I can imagine you must be starving. At least let me make you something to hold you over for the night." Holy took a step closer to you, holding a hand to her chest as she sympathetically extended the other out towards you.

Your eyes traced her petite figure until they landed on her outstretched palm. She was only trying to help. You knew this. But you couldn't bring yourself to accept her good will. Gently, you pushed her hand away, shaking your head. Her eyebrows tilted upwards in a kind of sorrowful fashion, but you didn't have the strength left to inform her she had done nothing wrong.

"Don't take it personally, mom. Y/n's probably exhausted. It's best just to let her get some sleep for now, you can make everyone breakfast in the morning."

Holy nodded her head, shooting you one last worried glance before disappearing behind you into the endless hallways of the Kujo residence. Even with her leaving you remained still, the only movement being the slight sway of your body.

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Y/n stood there for a long while, her upper body moving ever so slightly side to side. My gaze was set in her back, she didn't turn around to face me. I wanted to say something to her, but my mind came up empty. There was nothing I could have possibly said that would make her feel better. The pain she felt now was one I was familiar with. I knew no mater what I said to her she would still feel as broken as she does now. I knew she was probably frustrated with her lack of ability to even begin to describe what she was feeling.