insert text here

fling

[4 months later.]

"don't you get it?! i love you! okay! i've said it! how could you be so ignorant?" 

"you don't love me." i chuckled humourlessly. his voice was full of pain and anger at the same time and it broke my heart to see him like this. graduation was so soon. just next month. i just have to wait 31 days for it and that's it. i'm off to college. what happened between me and parker was just a fling; a few kisses here and there, some snuggling on the couch, but when we depart from each other, i'm sure we'll forget it sometime soon and meet other people who we deserve. he doesn't deserve me. he deserves better.

"i do! is that too hard to understand?" i wish he wouldn't say this in a call. 

"if you think that i'm still broken after everything that's what happened, you're wrong, parker. wrong. i'm still standing strong. i'm a strong woman. i don't need therapists to talk about shit that's happened in my life. what is done cannot be undone." i sucked in a deep breath. "no." 

"you don't know my feelings way better either." he retorted. 

"trust me on this, okay?" i pleaded with a calm voice to steady his breathing from the other line. 

"you were in love with the idea of rebuilding me. how i've gone through so much from this year and the past few years. you were never in love with me. the real me." 

the first few seconds was just silence but it ended up into sounds of despair. he was crying. because of me. the guilt was shaking at the pit of my stomach. "i don't deserve your tears. save it for somebody else, parker." 

"this sounds incredibly selfish on my part, but you're right. can we just forget about this?" he begs and i suppressed a laugh. a smile was tugging on the corners of my lips. he was smiling too, i could tell. 

"of course." 

call ended, 6 minutes and 32 seconds. 

--

i hate myself lmao im sorry???????