What Gives You The Right? ~ ShinDeku

Chapter: 38

Hello again *she says out loud and now her sister thinks she's talking to a black screen and has finally gone insane* ...

Anyways! Just here to warn you that it might get a little angsty. This chapter is purely what Denki wrote on the piece of paper. Not too much like past chapters, but it might make you cry😙

3rd POV

Kaminari had been pouring his heart out onto this page of paper. And after only 10 minutes of writing he asked for another, as he had already filled the front and back with his surprisingly good handwriting.

He wasn't even writing about Shoto anymore. He had meant to start with Shoto, and how Shoto had helped him throughout everything, but he ended up just talking about his emotions. The emotions he wished would go away. The emotions that are tearing him apart from the inside out. Emotions were something he never really like.

He supposed he just needed to get this all out.

Sugawara was still right across from him, waiting patiently as he occasionally gave Denki a comforting smile, as encouragement for him to continue on.

By the time Denki was done writing, he wasn't sure he wanted to give the 5 pieces of paper to Sugawara. But he did, and he looked away as Sugawara read them.

The gray haired detective stared at the papers in shock. He was planning on only skimming it to get the important information, but he couldn't.

He couldn't help but read ever single letter on those pages.

They hurt me.

That's how it started. Sugawara was expecting nothing less but the pages in front of him ran deeper than he could have expected.

They hurt me to the point where I wondered if I wanted to continued living.
At some point along the line, I had trouble finding the difference between the stab of a pointy object or the stab or their words.
That night I had ran away.. it was the same night the family reunion was happening..
No one stopped it.
No one did anything..
They watched as I cried out in pain.. some even adding to the abusers.
I found my way to a random household doorstep, praying they would let me in. Praying they would take me as one of their own.
I was a mess, I thought I would never recover. And days later everything was slightly better when I heard someone else was coming to live with us.
Up until that point, I had spent my time babysitting or sitting at parks to pass time. The get rid of the painful memories and the terrible flashbacks I had. I didn't have a natural peace that helped me get rid of my fears or anxieties.
But of course, Shoto showed up.
At first I knew he was just as broken as me. Whether it was physically or emotionally- that did not matter.
He matured much faster than I had. Much faster than anyone expected. He was already so mature, so ready to take on anything. But when I say matured I mean in a way that I never thought I could. It was like he truly got past his father. Like he truly forgot about the wrongdoings this world had put him through. I don't remember when it started, but he started to open up. Open up to everyone, but me especially.
Again, I don't remember but he said he had a special task when it came to me. A task that he was dead set of fulfilling.
Something about making me better.

Sugawara took a deep breath and got out the next sheet of paper.

I don't think it worked.
Even after a year of him doing his best to make me better, I was broken. I always had been. I'm broken.
He didn't give up on me, didn't even let his anger lash out when he discovered that I self harmed every night, or that I wrote suicide notes to fake people that might actually care if I'm gone or not.
And slowly, from that point on, it started to work.
I could feel myself getting better. Day by day I could feel my natural happiness overload as it had when I was young. Very young.
Shoto continued to help me. I haven't gone to parks in ages.. well not for the reason I used to. Now I go to play and have fun, like a should.
Sometimes I feel terrible for dumping all my burdens onto Shoto like that. Sometimes I feel like he would be better off without having to act as a parent everyday to a lost cause. Those are the nights Shoto helps me the most. Those are the nights that, without Shoto by my side, I would've perished a long time ago.