L

Ch. 16 Desire

'Dad'

L stares at me as I gawk at the screen.

Tears roll down my face as I stand there.

I couldn't move.

I stare at the picture of my father's mugshot. He looked pitiful. I could see the pain in his eyes through the monitor.

The pain of losing us...

All of us...

I think back to how he saved Touka's life...

How he sacrificed himself to protect us...

I stare at the mugshot, still frozen.

'I wish he was here.'

'I wish I could tell him it was okay. That he wasn't jailed and killed in vain. That he made the right decision, that Touka and I were happy and safe but....'

'Touka's dead.'

'....and Kira.'

'He murdered my family'

I drop to the ground, squatting with my hands over my face and begin to sob uncontrollably.

I was shaking so hard I felt like I was going to drop dead.

'WHY DID KIRA KILL THEM'

'MY FATHER WAS PROTECTING US'

''THEY WEREN'T CRIMINALS'

'WHY DID HE MURDER THEM'

'WHY WAS MY FAMILY RIPPED FROM ME'

'WHY DID-"

"(Y/N)"

My shaking suddenly stops.

I felt it again...

I snap my head up, breathing fast.

I look slowly to see L kneeling down next to me, his hand on mine.

I look at him in awe.

'It all just...

went away...'

L's stares back at me slightly jumping at our touch.

He looks at me for a couple moments and shifts his gaze to our hands.

I look down at my hand.

My breathing begins to slow down as I look back up to him.

His eyes fixate on mine.

Suddenly, his eyes relax, still staring at me.

He hesitates for a second before slowly removing his hand from mine.

I watch him, my heart dropping.

"No don't..." I trail off not finishing my sentence.

'Please put it back'

His eyes widen again.

"No?" He asks me, looking down at my hand and back up at me.

'(Y/N), you can't , why do you keep doing this to yourself.'

I look down, not responding.

He stands up suddenly and looks down at me before speaking.

"We will catch Kira." He whispers softly, his eyes filled with sadness.

"I promise you."

I feel a sense of slight relief as he looks at me reassuringly.

'I've never seen this side of him.'

I slowly analyze his face, relaxing a bit more the longer I do.

An extreme yearning wiped over me as he stared into my eyes.

'When he touches me...everything that hurts...'

'...disappears.'

He looks back at me, the look in his eyes shifting from sadness to desire.

I look at his hand, wanting to grab it again.

'Would he pull back?'

He stands over me, looking down at my face. I slowly prop myself up on my hands, rising to my feet.

I look down, wiping my tears away from my face.

He stares in my eyes, the look of desire in his eyes getting stronger by the second.

He breaks eyes contact and looks at the ground before turning around.

He turns to the monitor, analyzing my dad's mugshot.

"...(L/N)" L says slowly putting his thumb to his lip.

I look back at my dad, sadness filling me once again.

"I suspected the two of you were related, but I just assumed it must've been a coincidence." L says calmly.

I look away from the screen not wanting to see my father's mugshot any longer.

"Can you..." I say to L shakily.

"Please get him off the monitor."

He turns his head to look at me.

"Oh..of course." He says blankly.

He grabs the remote and clicks off the monitor's screen.

"I didn't bring you here to terrorize you." L says quietly, slightly turning his head towards me.

He stands up out of his chair and walks closer to me towards the couch.

I watch him as he comes closer, his hands in his pocket.

"I..." L says slowly.

RING RING RING

I look down at L's pocket.

He puts his finger up towards me before reaching for his ringing phone.

He flips open his phone and dangles it next to his ear.

"Hello...what is it?" L says his eyes on mine.

His eyes widen as he listens to the call.

'What happened?'

"What is it?" I ask, slightly worried by the look on his face.

His gaze remains, his phone still dangling by his ear.

"Thank you." He says before abruptly hanging up.

"Who was it?" I ask, hurriedly.

"It's the chief." L says blankly staring at the ground.

He looks up at me.

"He had a heart attack."