addiction - draco malfoy

five

by the time i had woken up, draco was gone. my hand had been healed and there wasn't the slightest trace of bruising, thank god. if there had been a mark i don't know how i would have explained it to lily and emma without them guessing exactly what i had done. there was a note on the bedside table, along with another tube of pain medication.

'healed your hand. are welcome to leave whenever you wake up. more pain meds here.
- madame pomfrey'

i picked up the meds, wiping the desk one last time with my sleeve to make sure there was absolutely no crushed up pills left. that would not look good to pomfrey if she found it.

as stupid as it was, i'd kind of expected that draco would have at least waited until i'd woke up. not because he cared about me in anyway, but because if i had watched someone in the hospital bed next to me snort a few lines of crushed up painkillers before passing out, i like to think think i'd have at least waited to check they were going to wake back up again.

or maybe i wouldn't, maybe if it wasn't emma or lily i would have stood up and walked out without a second thought. i can't really pretend to be the modern day equivalent of mother theresa, when i once used magic to snap a girls heel off her shoe and sprain her ankle because she used my prada perfume without asking me. or when i once hit seamus finnagan in the face with a broom accidentally on purpose because he made a comment about how girls can't play quidditch. or when i tripped victor krum over, spoiling his grand entrance into the school because i took one look at him and decided he was a pretentious prick. in fact, the more i think about it, the more i'm realising that i can never try and claim a moral high ground over anybody.

someone had taken my shoes off and they were laid neatly on the floor next to my bed, so i stuffed my feet back into them and grabbed my jacket, smoothing down my clothes to try and make myself look somewhat presentable. it was a sunday, so the corridors would probably be quiet, but i still didn't want to look bad if i bumped into anyone.

you look like shit. no boy is every gonna like you if you walk around looking like that.

so what should i do about it?

cut your hair off. put some makeup on. get changed. try for once.

maybe the voice was right. i made my way up to my dorm, trying to mentally search for where i'd left the craft scissors. i know i'd had them just the other day, because i'd been helping lily scrapbook.

the dorm was empty for once, emma must have woke up from her nap and gone to try and find me or lily. i pulled my bedside table drawer open, rifling through it quickly for the craft scissors. i soon realised they weren't there and started rifling through lily's drawer instead, sighing with frustration at the lack of scissors in her drawer too. she had literally everything in this drawer, a bible (she's not even religious, like at all), two stacks of tarot cards, a cookbook, four school ties, a pair of mismatched socks and a piece of chalk for a pool table. but no scissors.
where had we put them after we'd been scrapbooking?

emma. we'd gave them to emma. she said she needed them to make a poster for herbology. although, i don't remember seeing her ever actually using them. i walked over to her drawer, pulling it open expectantly.

the contents inside scared me. tucked underneath an old jumper was two knives, obviously stolen from the kitchen, the craft scissors, and a small metal mint container. against my better judgement i picked up the mint container and shook it, listening to the faint sound of something small and metal clanging around inside. i flipped the lid and tipped it out into my hand, staring down at the three small, perfectly clean blades in the palm of my hand. two razor blades and one pencil sharpener blade.